Ask Me Anything

Chapter 29 - When A Plan Comes Together....Sort Of.

This was supposed to be the easy part. I pull one of my earbuds out in frustration and continue scrolling through YouTube trying to decide on the perfect song to play. My frustration was compounded by the YouTube channel I made. At this point, it was totally out of control with all of the comments. It's not that they're bad, there are just so many of them. I try to focus and pull all of this together.

Maybe something would come to me while I was there and we were talking? That is if she would talk to me at all.

In a complete panic, I realize that I am out of time. I have another quick stop on the way and if I don't leave now, I'm never going to have enough time to do that and make it to their apartment by 8:00. Rattled, I put my acoustic guitar back into its case and shove a few picks in my pocket. I jog down the stairs and out to my car, quickly putting the guitar in the back and jumping into the driver's seat. I type in the address Molly texted me and impatiently wait for the directions to pull up. I had already looked it up earlier and know it by heart, but better safe than sorry. Now was not the time for wrong turns.

After a quick 5-minute drive, I pull off a questionable parallel parking job and hop out of my car. Glancing at the time on my phone, I sprint into a store and up to the counter, thankful I am the only one in line. When the clerk hands me my item in a brown paper bag, I quickly pay for it and dart back out to my car and maneuver out onto the road.

Driving in silence, I follow unneeded directions from my phone as they are read off by an electronic voice. A short time later, I pull up to the address that Molly gave me. It's a big brick house similar to mine, only theirs is divided up into four apartments, two upstairs and two downstairs. I decide to not park directly in front of the house, but instead pull to the curb one building down, my car blocked from their view by a gigantic tree. Letter, guitar, gift. Letter, guitar, gift. I keep repeating those things in my head for some reason, as if I'm going to forget why I'm here or what I'm doing.

It's 8:00 on the dot so I don't really have any time to try to compose myself. I sit staring at my phone and slowly start typing out my text to Molly. At this point I'm out of words so I don't even try to overthink an ordinary task as I normally would.

Me: I'm here. Are you ready?

Molly: Yes! But the real question is, are you?

Well, that did nothing to calm my nerves. Before I can answer, I see her walk out of their front door, look around, and then casually walk toward my car. When she gets to the driver's side, I roll the window all the way down. She leans forward with a big smile and puts her hands on my car door, but when she sees my face, her smile falters.

"Hey, are you OK?"

"Yeah. Just nervous, I guess," I say quietly.

"Don't be," she says kindly, but then adds, "Sorry. I guess that's really a dumb thing to say. It's not like if I say that it's going to actually help you be less nervous."

I reach over to the passenger seat, grabbing the letter and brown paper bag and hand it over to her.

"What's in the bag?" she asks with raised eyebrows, taking both items from my hand.

"It's just...she'll understand it." I hope.

Molly shrugs. "OK. Well, I'll send you a text once she's reads it. Good luck!" She turns and jogs back up to the porch and in their front door.

Feeling sort of sick, my stomach twists around. Being the over-thinker that I am, I try to calculate in my head about how long it would take to read the letter. Five minutes? More, less? But then that doesn't necessarily mean anything though. She would probably talk to Molly first, especially when she realizes that no one knocked on the door, yet Molly all of a sudden has a letter and a gift. She's going to want to know how that happened, which means Molly isn't going to just text me the second Lena is done reading. I try to calm myself down, now realizing I may be out here waiting for a bit.

I guess now would be a good time to try to figure out a song, because as of this exact moment, I still have no idea what I'm going to play. I briefly consider just leaving the guitar in the car and skipping that part of the plan, but quickly veto that idea. I need something with some sort of significance, but am drawing a blank. I guess I could play Robbers for her again, but it wouldn't have the same impact as it did the first time I played it for her on stage. I needed something else.

I reach forward to turn the radio on to help me find some musical inspiration, but then think better of it since I don't want to be distracted and miss her text. Although I guess that would probably be difficult considering I'm just sitting here staring at my phone. I open up my photos and look at the 4 pictures that she sent me yesterday from that little window of bliss we had between meeting in the café and Gavin's realization in the record store. I'm sort of glad she sent them because at this point, if I didn't have visual proof, I may not even believe that something that monumental ever happened to me.

It's been 10 minutes. She has to be done reading, right?

As if it's answering me, my phone suddenly chimes, surprising me enough that I bang my knee against the steering wheel which causes the phone to tumble off of my lap and onto the floor. I curse while I rub my knee with one hand and grope around by my feet for the phone with the other. My fingers wrap around it, but I'm so nervous it slips out of my hand and falls to the ground again. I am so grateful that they can't see me from the house right now, flailing around in my car like a crazy person.

Molly: Ok. It's all you now.

I chew my bottom lip as I read the text over and over, wishing Molly would have given me some sort of clue of how things went. I was nervous before, but now the realization that I'm going in totally blind really hits me. Gathering my nerve, I step out into the muggy evening air. Opening the back door, I take my guitar out of the case, leaving the bulky case behind on the seat. I walk around the car and up onto the sidewalk. Taking a few tentative steps, I peek at the house while still hidden from view by the big tree.

Before I can knock, Molly opens up the door, surprising me enough that I yelp and almost drop my guitar. She smiles and steps to the side so I can come in. I look around and notice that their apartment is leaps and bounds nicer than mine. It's only slightly bigger, but it's filled with bright furniture and artwork, which I'm guessing was done by Lena. It's clear that it wasn't decorated by a guy.

"She's in her room," Molly tells me. "It's the one at the end of the hallway," she says, gesturing to the hall leading away from the living room. Unbelievably nervous at the idea of being in her bedroom, I fight back the inevitable blush creeping up my neck. I almost ask if maybe she could come out to the living room instead.

"So what did she say?" I ask, partially because I'm stalling but also because I really want to know her reaction to it before I see her.

Molly frowns slightly and shakes her head. "She's still really closed mouth about all of this. When I handed her the envelope and bag, she read the letter and teared up a little bit. She asked me where I got it, and I told her you gave it to me. After that, she just went into her room and closed her door."

Seeing the concerned look on my face, she hastily adds, "But that's just how she is, so don't read too much into it. She likes to really think big things through before she'll talk to anyone about them." I nod at her, but her explanation doesn't completely assuage my nervousness. She reaches over and squeezes my arm, causing me to look up at her.

"It'll be ok," she says kindly before giving me a gentle nudge towards her room. I take a deep breath and walk to the hallway, passing the bathroom and Molly's room, coming to a stop at the last door. I stare at it for a minute, gathering up all of my courage before I finally lightly knock.

"Come in."