Some Mad Hope (ML, #4.5)

Kabanata 4

Kabanata 4

Type

Ilang tanong ang lumipad sa paligid nang mapagdesisyunan 'kong umalis dahil na rin sa inis ng aking nararamdaman. I pretended that someone in my class texted me about something important. School stuff, my ass. I'm not sure if I make it obvious, I am feigning. The two pair of popper eyes, from Benj and Conrad, made way to give me goose bumps. Seriously. I know they are getting their way to tell me the truth, and no way. I have to go back to house and get the god damn college shirt. And for the love of anything's holy, I will never calm myself when I see his infuriating face. Ever.

"You look mad," puna ni kuya Benj habang ako'y sinasamahan palabas ng mansion.

"I am not," I breathed, but my nose flared. Definitely, a scowl of my face.

"It is obvious. What is this all about, Maggie? Hatid na kita," seryosong batid niya. I saw him pocketing his hands. Kalma at sinusukat ang tingin sa akin. He nodded and focused his attention to the road. My chest feels heavy. I don't want him to get worried, because, this, him--the devil, you know him, is nothing. The one who has steel blue freaking eyes. Yes, him, the one who I can't name because he is making me furious.

"Nothing. Wala lang. I forgot to give back the notes I borrowed...and that." Huminga ako ng malalim. Sorry, Benjamin. I just needed...to get this off my chest so I can be angry-less. Hangga't 'di ko nagagawa iyon, I won't have peace of mind. When his face wandering off like gremlin inside my head, I can't think straight. "Okay lang ako, kuya. I'll be back once I finish my business! Please do not worry!" I said, almost slurring. But I kissed kuya on his cheek. I hurried and walked almost tripping my own. Hindi na nakasunod si kuya at nakita ko na lamang siya sa malayo na seryoso ang tingin sa akin. I waved and smiled, blowing a kiss from a far.

Pumara ako ng taxi at sinabi ang aking direksyon. Mahigpit ang hawak ko sa aking telepono. Ilang mensahe ang natanggap ko kay Newt ngunit hindi ko pinansin. Nangangati na nga ang aking daliri na i-block ang kanyang numero sa aking telepono. Why do I hate this man in the very depths of any hatred?

I shook my head and pushed the thought immediately. Inabala ko ang aking sarili kung pa'no lulukutin ang damit niyang plinantsa ko pa. Why did I do that, by the way? Anong privilege ang binigay ko sa kanya? Nothing! Ugh, this makes me hate myself even more! Because of him! Siya lang!

Napatingin ako kay kuya driver nang tumitingin siya sa front-mirror. The taxi stopped and I wondered why? Luminga ako sa paligid at nanlaki ang mata ko nang huminto ito sa tapat ng village. The driver laughed at my reaction! Naaligaga ako sa pagkuha ng pamasahe 'ko at kaagad na lumabas ng taxi. Umiling-iling akong naglakad papunta sa bahay at nawala kahit panandali ang iniisip kong college shirt. Umirap ako nang umere ang mukha niya sa isipin ko at ilang beses akong napailing.

"Hate you," I said as I ran toward my room. Hinablot ko ang damit niya na nakasabit sa aking cabinet. Nagtatakbo ako upang makalabas ng bahay. Pumara muli ng taxi upang makarating sa address na pinadala niya sa aking telepono. Nang tignan ko ang mga mensaheng pinadala niya, nag-init ang aking dugo nang mabasa ito.

Him:

Uy, joke lang! Hindi mabiro!

Umiirap at nagpupuyos ako sa loob ng taxi. Hindi ko ininda ang ilang tingin ng driver dahil sa aking reaksyon. Ang mahalaga lamang ngayon ay maisuli ko ang damit niya at mawala na siya sa aking sistema. Tila nasa akin ang buong mundo dahil sa kunot ng aking mga kilay sa inis. Ilang beses kong pinakalma ang aking sarili, but it is really useless! I really need to get this off my chest! I want to throw this shirt to him! Straight to his manly--no, no, he will never have my praises! Kahit bayaran niya pa 'ko, hindi ako magbibigay!