Some Mad Hope (ML, #4.5)

Kabanata 11

Kabanata 11

Feelings

Lumipas ang Pasko at Bagong Taon na puros iwas lamang ang ginagawa 'ko. I stay away from them, Conrad and Newt. Even sa family celebration ay lagi na lang ako kina Mommy at Daddy nakikisalo. I tried my best to have only a casual talk when I am around our cousin. Minsanan na lang din akong sumasama kay kuya Benj o kay Marco kung may shooting. Staying away is hard, but I could do it. Para wala na ring maging problema. If I risk it, it is going to be a big problem. I hid everything to my family because of Conrad's revelation. When the scenarios playing inside my head, I pushed the thought immediately. I focused on studying and only visiting Marco to help me about angles and movement in modelling. I'd had enjoy my stay and Marco's modelling 101. With those, the loneliness and the weights, I'd forget it in that time. I focused on school and org, too. Mas maiging ilagay ko lamang ang isip ko doon. It is really hard, but I need to do it.

"Mags, sama ka sa amin ni Nik sa concert," ani Gwen pagkasalampak sa sahig. Inalok niya ang popcorn sa akin. Kinuha ko iyon at sumubo. But my eyes stayed on the screen, watching the movie.

Nilunok ko ang nginuya 'kong popcorn. "Kay Justin ba?" Nagningning ang mata ko at napangisi kaagad ako. Hinarap ko si Gwen na ngumunguso habang nanood ng movie na pinapanood namin. Gwen is here for 4 hours, I guess, kung tama ang kalkulasyon ko. I invited her in my room to just watch any romantic movies. "Please, let it be Bieber, Gwen! Sama 'ko!" hagikgik 'ko.

"Sorry, Mags. Avril Lavigne this February 16," aniya at tumingin. "Last year pumunta naman si Bieber, ah. You missed his first concert?"

Tumango kaagad ako. I pouted and breathed. Hinipan ko ang baby bangs 'ko pataas at tumango muli. Yes, I missed the first ever concert of my Justin here in Manila! Umalis kasi kaming pamilya ng araw na 'yon! It is settled! Wala na 'kong nagawa. "Yes. But wait, Nik? Si Klaus?" Napakunot ako ng kilay.

"Yep...he has extra tickets. Sabi niya, ayain din kita," Gwen's eyes smiled, ngunit tipid na ngiti lamang ang kanyang labi. My cousin still in highschool. Parehas naman ang antas namin ni Niklaus sa kolehiyo. I don't know how they met. Pero mabait naman si Klaus. I don't know what Conrad's reason for hating Niklaus. Maybe he's jealous? What the hell? "Gusto mo? Kapag kasi kasama ka...baka payagan ako nina Mommy at Daddy..." She rubbed her lips. "Isasama ni Nik si Elijah...don't worry. I think, we'll be safe?" Napatawa siya.

"Sure, what time ba?" tanong ko sumubo muli.

"Same time as always," aniya.

Napatawa ako.

"Oo nga, noh. Sige, paalam na 'ko kina Mommy mamaya."

"Thanks, cous."

"Welcome, Gwen." Tinutok ko muli ang atensyon ng mata 'ko sa screen. Umayos ako ng upo at sinandal ang ulo ko sa likod ng kama. I stretched my long legs. "Anong kukunin mo kapag nag-college ka, Gwen?"

"Uhm...baka katulad ng kay Ate Geneve. Biology tapos sundan ko siya na mag-Doctor kasi iyon ang gagawin niya. I guess." I heard her sigh and winced a little. Hindi niya iyon tuluyang pinakita sa akin.

"Iyon talaga gusto mo?" My forehead creased. Gwen loves what Ate Ericka's passion. I saw her sketch, really. And guess what, they are really beautiful. Not because I am praising her because she's my cousin. But there is chance! She's really, really good, young and talented.

I looked at my cousin. Saktong tumingin siya sa akin. I saw her eyes' emotion--agony and unsure. "Sabi ni Mommy. Maglalaon magugustuhan ko rin iyon. Don't worry, Mags. I think, I'll be happy taking the course. Problemahin ko pa ang entrance exam for that next, next month!" Natawa siya ngunit hindi umabot sa mata. Kumain lang siya ng kumain ng popcorn hanggang sa iniba niya ang usapan. Her phone rang kaya napalabas siya ng kwarto ko upang sagutin iyon.