Some Mad Hope (ML, #4.5)

Kabanata 13

Kabanata 13

I tried

"Don't you want to be a model, Mags?" asked by ate Ericka while flipping the page of the sketchpad. Her eyes trained on her juniors' masterpiece. Ang labi nakaporma ng seryoso habang inuusisa ang mga collections na ito. And then her eyes flitted over mine. Napalunok ako sa seryosong awra na binibigay niya sa akin. "I remember the first time you said. Naalala mo pa ba 'yon?"

I breathed.

Tinignan ko ang kamay kong nakapatong sa aking tuhod. I shifted a little to make myself comfortable. Tension never wanted to leave my shoulder. Kaunti na lamang ay gusto ko ng kagatin ang daliri 'ko. I never thought this conversation would go farther than this. Ilang beses na 'kong napapalunok sa kaba. I don't know why! Because I know in the tip of my tongue, my heart knows my answer.

Yes.

Across from her table, her swivel chair creaked a little. My heart jumped a bit. I looked so tense. Nang tignan 'ko ang pinsan 'ko, my eyes glistened. She looks so polished. Elegant. Stoic. Classy. But has a big heart. Her office reminds me of her characteristic. White. Neat. Graceful. Like a queen owned a freaking kingdom.

"Maggie?" she snapped me out of my thought.

"He-he," tanging sagot 'ko sabay pagkaluskos ng aking palad.

My eyes fluttered over her. Her lips curved upward, waiting for me to answer. But she breathed, "you want to own the runway. Model the clothes I was sketching that time. Noong nag-aaral pa 'ko sa St. Benilde, Mags, 'di ba?"

Napakagat ako ng labi at napatango. "Oh, my god!" I shrieked, happily. "I remember!" Napanguso ako. I laugh into smile and laugh again, remembering all those things inside my head. Bata pa lang ako sa inpluwensya nina Marco at ni Ericka namulat ako sa industriyang gustong-gusto nilang galawan. With them, I know a passion lit inside me. That it also melts my heart to know a purpose. But then doubt started to ruin all those things. I think I am not enough.

Sinalo ng palad 'ko ang aking pisngi nang ipatong 'ko ang siko sa kanyang lamesa. I smiled, "bakit cous, do you think I am model material na?" I joked. I gave her my sweet smile and even pouted my lips, kiddingly. Napatawa si Ericka at naibaba ang inuusisa na sketchpad. Niligpit niya iyon kasama ng iba nitong kaparehas. She clasped her hands. My heart thumped against my ribcage. I thought someone is freaking vacuuming the air out of me. "I'm just joking!" I nervously laugh.

"So you want, Maggie," she concluded, giving me a meaningful smile. "Anyways," she continued, picking up her phone, "nasa baba na sina Marco. Pinayagan ka na pala ni tita Demi na sumama sa pool party mamaya." My eyes went wide in disbelief. Weh, is in the tip of my tongue. "Even your brother wouldn't be able to be in the party. Just be with Marco, e? Binilin ka ng Dad mo sa kanya."

"OMG!" I screamed, gladly. I even clapped, almost stumbled getting to my cousin's place to hug her. "Thank you, cous! I owe you big time!" I kissed her cheek. Halos nakaupo na 'ko sa lap niya habang binibigyan siya ng yakap. "Akala 'ko hindi papayag si Mommy dahil gabi ito--even it will start at 7 pm."

"Remember, before 11 dapat nakauwi na kayo ni Marco. Don't get him too drunk, okay?"

Ilang beses akong tumango.

"I promise!" Tinaas 'ko pa ang kanang kamay 'ko.

My cousin smile into laugh.

"And be careful on your drinks, you still have one month before you can officially drink liquor?" she joked. Niyakap ako ng pabalik ni Ericka. "Just be patient, Mags, alright? One month. Isang buwan na lang eighteen ka na. And probably that age, anything can happen," with a wink.