Secrets Behind Love

Chapter 3

We dropped Bentley of at my grandmas house. And was driving back home with Austin. I could feel his eyes on me and got anxious.

"Take a picture, it will last longer." Wow, creative right? Austin seemed to think it was as cheesy as I did when he laughed and my cheeks turned red quickly.

"You look cute when you blush," he said causing me to blush even more, if that was possible. An he laughed next to me. We pulled up to my empty house and I let out a sigh. Maybe this wasn't a good idea I turned to Austin and was about to speak when he kissed me, softly and slow. It cut me off guard and he noticed and laughed against my lips.

"I have been waiting to do that since you blushed in the car" he smirked and got out of the car.

"you coming?" he yelled to me and I got out of the car, fumbling with my keys, and dropped them. I heard Austin laugh at me and anger shot through my body.

"don't laugh at me" I said picking up my keys and stepping past him. I opened the door and walked into my kitchen and grabbed a water, without talking to Austin. He stood closely behind me.

"Your not going to tell you parents your home?" he asked casually. I shot him a look and pointed to the door.

"Get out," I said lowly. He looked at me confused.

"Carso-" I cut him off and was yelling now.

"Get out!" I yelled again and stepped closer to him pushing at his chest.

"Leave!" I yelled trying to push him but he wasn't budging, and I gave up and put my head on him chest. He gently wrapped his hands around my body making me feel safe. I swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling.

"I'm sorry, I, I, I don't know what I did but I'm sorry" he whispered into my ear and gently brushed my hair. I sighed and pulled away.

"Let's start the chemistry" I said plastering a fake smile on my face and waking to get my books.

"No, tell me what that was about." he said stepping close.

"Don't worry about it," I said angry, turning away from him.

"Tell me" he huffed getting in my face and holding my arm.

"You don't need to know! Just drop it!" I yelled back into his face.

"Let me know! Let me in!" he yelled at me turning and pulling something out of his pocket, a cigarette. He lit it and huffed in, sighing.

"you don't want to be let in trust me."I said quietly hoping he wouldn't hear me.

"you think you have secrets? You think you have things people don't want to know? Think again sweetheart your not the only one" he said angry coming towards me.

"I'm not saying I'm the only one! Why would I want to be in my position I'm in? Don't dare tell me that I wished this upon myself because if you do then, I don't want to speak to you ever again!" I yelled at him raging towards him.

"you don't ever want to speak to me again?" he laughed a devious laugh.

"you need me Carson, you need to be here with you. You would never push me out" he said quietly stepping forward.

"Anyway, I would never leave." he whispered in front of me, walking closer. I had to be strong, I couldn't break and let him win this fight.

"Leave," I said low looking at the floor. I could see his black boots coming towards me.

"I cant" he said just as low as I did.

"Because as much as you need me, I need you." and the next thing I knew him lips came crashing down on mine, hard and passionate. I felt his hand wrap around my wait and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around him waist so he wouldn't put me down, this was my safe place, in Austin's arms. He walked through my house and tried to find my room. I broke away from him to tell him

"up stairs, first room in the right." and like a dog, he took the orders and walked, still holding me in his tight grip. He pushed me against the wall and I felt his hands slowly creep up my shirt. I pulled his hands back out and he pulled back and looked at me, still holding me in his arms.

"What? Are your parents coming home or something?" he asked and looked into my eyes.

"Leave," I said trying to get out f his grip. I kicked and pushed but it was no use. I sighed and whispered one more time.

"please, please let me go." I said quietly and he just looked at me, not putting me down.

"Carson, what did I do?" he asked confused.

"leave!" I yelled at him and he turned angry and his grip tightened on me.

"your hurting me Austin" I cried.

"I don't care, why won't you let me in Carson." he yelled at me and scared me and I flinched. He put me down and took a step back.

"you think I would hurt you?" he said softly walking away from me.

"I'm scared Carson, I'm scared of the lies I create, the lives I ruin, the cuts I make. I just can't get anything right. And I thought you were the first thing I could do right, but I guessed wrong. I'll leave now" he said walking away. I couldn't move. I felt numb, I wanted to run after him but I couldn't. I sat down sliding against the wall. He was gone and I don't think he was coming back, but I needed him, just like I said. And for a change he needed me. I couldn't let him go. I got up and went running down the street, I didn't know where I was going but I had a feeling I was going to right way. After about 15 minuets of wondering I sat down, and the years spilt down my face, I have been strong for too long. I sat there with my head in my lap when I felt a arm wrap around me. I didn't move, because I recognized the warmth it gave me. It was my best friend, Ace.

"what's the matter Carson?" he asked gently.

"Austin, he left." I said low because if I spoke any louder my voice would crack.

"it's okay baby girl, I'm always here for you, best friends remember?" he said and I could hear the smile in his voice. I pulled my head up ad began walking, Ace following behind.

"Where are we going?" he asked curiously.

"I'm picking up Bentley, then going to bed." I said angry waking back to my house. We walked together in silence and when we reached my house I still wasn't speaking and I got right in my car.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow ," Ace called and gave me a weak smile. That's what I loved about Ace, no questions. I drove to my grandmas and picked up Bentley and we were driving home.

"did you have fun champ?" I asked trying to hide the upset in y voice.

"it was fun! Grandpa helped me draw a picture for you!" he yelled going into his backpack and pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. I studied it and saw it was Bentley and I holding hands in front of our house.

"Carson?" his little voice asked.

"yeah bud?" I asked sounding happy.

"where are -" I cut him off.

"want to get ice cream!" I asked and a smile crept across his little face, I'll take that as a yes, I thought to myself. We rolled up to the ice cream parlor and Bentley went running into the shop. I saw his little hands point at the ice cream he wanted and I gave him money to pay for his ice cream. We drove back home, Bentley telling me all about his day. It killed me inside knowing that I can't support him to my full capability. I needed to forget though, I needed to be strong. We got home and I for Bentley out of the car and we walked outside. I looked at the clock and it was 8:17. Past Bentleys bedtime, I turned to him and he knew that he was going to be put to bad and walked up the stairs to his room. I smiled to myself because I couldn't ask for a better kid to take care of. I got to bed and didn't know if I was ready for the next day, having to face Austin. Having to look into his green eyes, wishing he would hold me again, hoping he would kiss me one more time.

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