Secrets Behind Love

Chapter 4

I woke up the next morning, hoping that what happened with Austin was a nightmare, but it wasn't. I pulled myself out of bed and did my usual schedule. By the time I was a school I almost wanted to throw up, I couldn't face Austin yet. I sighed and made my way to chemistry, trying to prepare myself to see Austin. I was looking at the ground when I heard a group of girl cooing over something, when I looked up I wasn't surprised, Austin. He just stood there smoking his cigarette. And before I could do anything he was stomping out his cigarette and walking away. The girls all scattered away and I walked to class, hoping Austin would go. When i got there he was sitting in the same spot, next to me. I couldn't help but smile, Austin noticed and turned away from me. I sat down and almost feel off my stool before Austin grabbed me.

"thanks," I said blushing and he just shook his head, still not acknowledging me. When Mr Lee was going on about something j turned to Austin.

"Can we talk?" I asked quietly ago we wouldn't get in trouble. No answer.

"Austin?" I asked again, hopeless.

"Come on, answer me," I said placing a hand on his arm. He don't speak, just stared at my hand on his arm. I moved it and he got close to my face.

"Fine, my house after school." he said and turned away from me still angry. I took the hint and stopped trying to talk to him. The rest of the day went by slowly and I was waiting at my locker for Austin to come. Was he standing me up? I was turning away grabbing my keys and swallowing. The lump in my throat. I felt a hand gently wrap around y waist.

"You didn't think I was going to stand you up, did you?" Austin whispered in my ear and turned me around. Gosh this boy was bi-polar.

"Can we just talk?" I asked looking up into his green eyes I couldn't get enough of.

"Fine," he said leaning closer to my face. We were so close, his fingers gently outlined my cheek bones, sending goose bumps up my spine. I grabbed his tee shirt and pulled him close.

"I can play your games too" I said as seductively as I could and walked away. I didn't hear him come after me but I just kept walking. Soon enough he came running towards me and picked me up and spun me around. He had a tight grip on my waist and I wrapped my legs around him.

"Who said I'm playing a game?" he said in a husky voice. Extremely sexy.

"I don't play games, and I don't want to play games with you" he said leaning close.

"Not even checkers?" I laughed ruining the seriousness of the situation. He dropped me and I fell right on my butt, shooting a pain up my body. I let out a small scream and got up and walked away.

"Carson! Cars-" he couldn't finish he sentence he was laughing to hard.

"it's not funny! You hurt me!" I yelled punching him in the chest.

"I didn't mean to Carson, I would never purposely hurt you," he whispered pulling me close.

"Whatever, let's go to your house." I said turning around I heard him slam his fist against a locker. I turned around angry, why would he be so nice and change into someone angry in one second.

"What's wrong with you?" I screamed at him.

"Just get in my car, white Mercedes." he growled at me and I took orders and got in his car, wondering why I didn't fight back. He hopped in the car and we drive in silence filled the car an tension was building up. I looked over and noticed Austin's hands were turning white around the wheel.

"calm down," I said and there was no answer.

"calm down!" I yelled touching his hands.

"stop! You said you just wanted to talk that's what we are doing, no friendship or anything in between." he growled at me. A tear slipped down my face, not from saddness but from anger.

"Carson, I didn't mean it like that." he pleaded but it was too late.

"let me out of the car," I growled. He just stared at me.

"We are here, please come in and talk, please?" he sighed. I turned to talk but was cut of by a soft gentle kiss.

"Please?" he said like a child, I couldn't resist.

"Fine, just to talk, because that's all you want." I huffed and walked out of the car. Austin's arms were around me soon, trying to change the mood, I couldn't give in. I pushed his hands off my waist and walked up to the door like I had been here a thousand times. I heard him kick at the ground. I turned around and yelled back to him

"Are you going to open the door?" and he came charging towards me, pressing his body against mine. His face was so close, so tempting. He slowly came faster to my face and my breathing picked up, I heard his chuckle lightly and his chest moved up and down. He came close, but when I thought he was going to kiss me he whispered into my ear.

"do I scare you?" he whispered close to my ear his lips brushing against my cheek. It sent chills up my back and I whispered back.

"Nothing about you scares me, not your bad boy boots, your cigarettes or your smirks, nothing." he pulled back and looked me in the eyes.

"You should be," he said backing up.

"why do you always do that? Say your a monster, that I should leave. Because if you really want me to leave, I will. But not because you think you're a monster, because you're not." I said frustrated stepping closer to him.

"you don't understand," he growled and walked past me to open the door.

"first room upstairs on the right," he said still angry walking away. I didn't want to bother so I just went up stairs. First door to the left? I tried it and to my surprise, found a little girls room, decorates in pink poka-dots and dolls neatly organized on shelfs. The bed ha perfectly made white blankets with an old beaten up doll. I went to take a step when I felt Austin grab my wrists hard. I turned around in the pain and he pulled me close.

"Leave, get out of my house." he growled. His eyes changed form the beautiful green to black, filled with anger.

"Austin? What are you talking about" I cried.

"get out!" he yelled trying to push me and I fell to the ground. His expression changed immediately from anger to guilt.

"Carson, I didn't mean to," he said putting a hand on my blonde hair and getting down on one knee.

"I know you didn't, tell me whats going on?" I said angry not moving though.

"Nothing, I can't tell you," he said lowering his head.

"Why not?" I asked in a confident voice.

"Why should I? Why should I let you in when you won't let me in?" he snapped sitting down pretzel style and pulling me in so I was on top of him, incapable of moving

"What are you talking about?" I yelled trying to escape his arms, when in reality I wanted to stay there forever.

"when he were at your house, I asked if you parents were home and you got angry and told me to leave, that's what I'm talking about." he said gripping me tighter. I wanted to leave, I wanted to get away.

"let go! Let me go! I said squirming in his tight, muscular arms.

"not until you tell me," he whispered kissing me gently to try and calm me. It didn't work. I squirmed and a tear fell down my face. I couldn't control it anymore and they began to pour out. Austin just held me, wrapping his arms around me rubbing my hair. I never cried in front of anyone, who could I cry in front of him and not feel judged or self conscious. Then I remembered something important, I needed to get home.

"I need to go, sorry." I said and tried to get up but Austin pulled me back.

"Not until you give me a kiss," he said.

"No." I smirked, playing hard to get. He bit his lip and kissed me hard, cupping my face in his hands. I didn't want to pull away but I had to. He looked hurt when I did, so I kissed his softly one more time.

"I really need to go," I said and was out his door.