Secrets Behind Love

Chapter 17

I felt Austin's lips against mine and it felt so right. But I couldn't let him in that easily. I pushed him away, and hurt filled his face.

"No, a kiss won't change how much you hurt me." I whispered, not looking him in the eyes. I stepped back, felling the tension in the air.

"Carson please, I'm trying my hardest here. I know I made mistakes and I'm sorry. I just want you back," he said and I felt his eyes burning through me.

"I just can't,". I whispered and I heard him punch the wall.

"Why not! Carson I'm practically on my knees begging for you to take me back!" he yelled stepping closer.

"let's just be friends, I'm tired Austin," I said and I felt his hand wrap around me.

"I don't want to be friends Carson. Please I can't stand to see you with anyone else." he said.

"Austin ple-" he cut me off.

"you promised too, you said you would never leave me. I need you Carson. And I know you need me too," he said and I saw the smirk creep across his face.

"I. I just need to think," I said and I felt his hands grip me a little tighter.

"you don't need to think, do what you heart says." he said and kissed me soft.

"I need to think." I said strong. I saw him get angry.

"Fine. Think all you need," he said but he seemed fine about it. He smiled lightly, but it was forced, and walked away. When he got I the doorway he turned around and waved his hand, defeated. Then that was it. He was gone, and it hurt even more. I needed him, I did. That was all the thinking I needed. I ran out the door and grabbed my jacket because it was raining. I sprinted through my front door, barefoot. Puddles splashed against my naked feet. I saw Austin's sitting on the sidewalk with his head in his hands.

"Austin!" I yelled at him and continued running. He looked up and saw me and stood him. I was getting closer and closer and soon the gap between us closed. I ran into his arms and he picked me up. This time I started the kiss. I kissed him hard and ran my fingers on his cheeks. He wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me close to him. I pulled away from him and he still held me up.

"I need you, Austin" I said out of breath.

"I need you too Carson. You know that," he whispered.

"and I realized that I hurt more without you then what you actually did," I said and he kissed me soft.

"I'm sorry, I'll never hurt you again." he whispered looking into my eyes and kissed me one more time in the pouring rain.

"let's go home," I whispered in his ear and kissed his neck lightly. He didn't say a word, in one single motion he flipped me onto his back and started walking. Im sure my face was turning red from laughing so hard. When we got back to my house I hopped off his back and ran into the closet to get a towel. My wet clothes were sticking to my skin and I wanted to change.

"I'm going to chan-" I said but Austin cut me off with a kiss. I smiled against his lips. His arms felt like home around me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he picked me up again and placed me on the couch. I ran my hands through his wet shaggy hair. I could smell his smell again, cigarets and mint. I loved it.

"why are you smiling?" he laughed and sat up. I moaned a little which made him laugh a little more.

"I just missed that," I laughed embarrassed. He got a little closer.

"missed what? This?" he said and leaned down and kissed me gently. He pulled back.

"yeah, that." I said and my cheeks flared red.

"well I'm hungry," I said and walked to the kitchen.

"your always hungry Carson," he laughed and sat in a stool. I turned to him, my cheeks red.

"it's okay, I like a girl who isn't afraid to eat," he smirked and came closer to me. Next thing I knew Austin's body was pressed against mine. Wow, that boy could move fast. My breath hitched as he moved his hands over and gently glided his hands over my hips. He smirked in my war and walked away. Leaving me speechless.

"where are you going?" I asked to his back. He didn't say anything, he simply held up a cigaret. I sighed. It was such a bad habit, I wish he would quit.

"smoking is bad for you!" I yelled after him.

"So are you!" he yelled over his shoulder. I laughed lightly and made myself some pasta. I sneaky let it and admired my cooking. I was about to put a forkful of pasta when I felt Austin's lips on mine. I groaned a little. He pulled back.

"what?" he said twirking his head.

"as much as I love that, I'm starving" I said and my stomach growled. Right on cue. He smirked and kissed me one more time.

"go ahead, eat Carson" he laughed and fed me some of my pasta. I missed him so much. I never want him to leave me again.

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I am so so so so sooooo sorry for not writing in the longest time! I just kept getting in trouble and getting my computer and iPod taken away. Then I had finals! (don't even want to talk about it) and now Im back! Yay! I will right a lot over the summer because I dont have friends to hang out with, the Internet is my only friend..okay bye...