My Lonely Road - Joshler

Chapter 9

hope you're dead, 'cause how could you sleep at a time like this...?

>>>

he hates you.

he doesn't love you. hell, he doesn't even like you. he can't stand you. no one can.

no.

you should die. you might end up making yourself useful.

no.

you think you deserve love?  you don't deserve jack shit. and i'm gonna make sure you don't get anything.

i'm gonna make your life a living hell.

stop.

it's not worth much, but it's oh so fun hearing you cry.

love's overrated anyway, honey. i 'm doing you a favor.

please.

personally, i think things were better when it was just you and me. whatever happened to our relationship?  we're best friends. you used to come to me for everything.  when you were feeling sad, I would help you slit your wrists. when you were lonely, i would talk to you and assure you of how worthless and pathetic you are

stop it. go away.

now you've gone and filled our relationship up with happiness and friends, and "love."

what an idiot. do you honestly think any of them would want to even be seen with you? once they find out what you're really like?

you mean what you're  really like? i have no intentions of revealing anything of the sort. i don't give a flying fuck about you.

oooh, the sass. well damn, i  was really hoping we could be friends again. i miss you, tyler. anyway, suit yourself. it'll all go to hell soon anyway. and i'll be right here for you.

i hate you.

you mean yourself? who doesn't?

Josh doesn't hate me.

riiiight...whatever helps you sleep at night, man. call me when you need a real friend.

>>>

Tyler jerked awake to find himself drenched in sweat and tears. he resisted the urge to start bawling and instead went to the bathroom, squinting his eyes when he flicked the harsh, white lights on.

it was all too familar now. those nights where Tyler would be awoken by his own damn thoughts and dragged subconsciously to the bathroom.

he would fumble around in the cabinet until he found a razor. then he would press the cold metal up to his skin and slowly drag it across, creating beautiful sharp pain that lasted until he went back to bed like a zombie and fell asleep. those were the nights where blurry would ultimately win.

it looked like tonight was going to be one of those nights. after all, it had been far too long. it was a common routine.

Tyler wouldn't say that he very much enjoyed it. but it seemed to keep blurryface from pestering him for a good amount of time.

Tyler picked up a razor and dragged it across his forearm. he watched as the blood trickled out, little by little. one.

Tyler would do anything to get rid of blurryface.

Tyler moved about an inch away from the first cut that he made, slicing another red line into his arm and watching the blood rise up to the top. two.

Tyler would kill himself to get rid of blurryface.

Tyler pressed harder, digging into his skin and dragging the blade across his forearm. he felt tears welling up in his eyes from the pain. three.

Tyler suddenly couldn't take it anymore. he keeled over and sobbed quietly on the bathroom floor, dropping the razor. he felt dizzy.

keep going, pathetic little worthless bitch.

Tyler let another quiet sob overcome him, shakily grasping the razor and putting it up to his skin again. he continued. four.

you're not done yet, scum. i  want to see you bleed.

Tyler pressed down on his arm the hardest he had ever done before, blood streaming down his arm...five.

beautiful.

Tyler dropped the razor again and it clattered to the floor. he fell onto his back, staring up at the ceiling and in so much pain.

don't you feel sooo much better now?

Tyler's vision blurred and the harsh white lights faded into darkness.

looks like it's back to me again. i told you that you couldn't win.

>>>

Tyler woke up that same night in mess of dried blood. oh, and alot of pain.

he tried not to grunt as he squatted to mindlessly clean up his blood that had splattered onto the cold tile floor. once he was done, he grabbed the razor and trudged back to his bedroom.

he didn't sleep, if you were wondering.

>>>

even when i doubt you,
i'm no good without you
don't forget about me, no.