My Lonely Road - Joshler

Chapter 23

(sorta kinda not really josh's third person p.o.v.)And this was based off of the new sleeper video that was uploaded today

after Josh and Tyler ate, the two of them went back to Josh's room and cuddled. Tyler was in a cuddly mood lately. Josh wasn't complaining.

Tyler fell asleep again after about an hour.

Josh observed him as he slept. he was so beautiful.

he watched Tyler's chest rise and fall and Josh matched their breathing. it was comforting.

he didn't look too peaceful, however. his eyebrows were furrowed in anxiety even as he slept. Josh didn't know what to do; all he could do was stay with Tyler as he slept, and he made sure to do that.

as Tyler continued to sleep, Josh replayed their earlier conversation in his head. it worried him. Tyler's wavering voice, his nervous tone. his scared tone.

"it's not you, it's blurryface."

"he's everything i'm not, but at the same time, he's everything i am."

"he's a villain and i need to take him out."

who was blurryface, and why did he seem to want Tyler dead?

and better yet, how could they get rid of him?

everyone had insecurities to a certain extent. but Tyler's consumed him, and prevented him from just living his life. Josh just wanted him to be happy. life in general wasn't that easy, of course. but it also didn't have to be this hard.

Josh's deep thoughts were interrupted as Tyler made a soft noise in his sleep. Josh looked down at his puffball of hair and gently turned his cheek to see his face.

Tyler made another noise and then suddenly he was crying.

"Tyler?" Josh sat him up and hugged him immediately, since he was awake now and trembling in Josh's arms. "shh, angel, it's okay. it's okay, i'm right here, okay?"

Tyler cried harder into Josh's shoulder. "i-i-i-"

"shhh, it's okay. don't cry. are you okay?" Josh whispered.

Tyler shook his head.

"oh i'm so sorry, baby boy. everything's gonna be alright," Josh told him. "i promise."

"d-don't apologize," Tyler said, his voice coming out small and shaky. "just please don't let me be gone. don't let me-" he cut himself off with a sudden sob and downwards jerk of his head.

Josh tilted his head back and wiped his cheeks. "i'll always be with you, okay? we're not going to let blurryface win."

Tyler looked terrified, but nodded. "i trust you, i'm just scared and i don't know why," he said quickly.

"don't be scared," Josh said gently. "i'll be with you while you sleep. if you wake up, i'll be right here."

"i-i don't- i won't be able to sleep," he whispered.

"just take it a breath at a time, okay? don't focus on anything else. just breathe in and out."

"i can't," Tyler said, distressed. "can-can talk to me?"

"talk to you?"

"mhm," Tyler nodded. "just talk about anything...and maybe i'll fall asleep. i like your voice. it's- it's nice."

"oh, okay. i can do that," Josh said. "what do you want me to talk about?"

"just anything," Tyler answered. "preferably not anything scary though," he said, his cheeks tinging pink.

"okay, well..." Josh thought for a moment. "i remember when i was about 7, my brother and sisters and i had this babysitter named Sarah. and i remember she painted my nails blue once. and i said that i liked it alot. and then when i was 10, my parents still didn't trust us to be home alone, and so Sarah came back and babysat for us again. and i showed her that i had started a collection of nail polish that i would wear to school, and she seemed really happy about that. and i let her paint my nails purple the next time she came over, and she said that i looked cute. i didn't really know what to think about that, but i knew that i liked the compliment."

"that's 'cause you are cute," Tyler said softly, yawning. "keep going."

"the next time she came, she seemed sad about something, so i asked her what was wrong. she said that her boyfriend broke up with her. i told her i was sorry, and that she shouldn't stay sad because she was the coolest person ever, and that the guy was stupid for not seeing that. and she cheered up a little, although i could still tell she was sad. then she told me that one day i would meet someone that i would fall in love with, someone that would make my heart stop when i saw them and just give me best feeling i'd ever felt before.

"and then when i was still 10, Sarah came back for the last time, since my parents decided that we actually were mature enough to stay home from then on. so she came and said bye to us, and she showed me some things she had painted for me. i was so happy. the paintings were of nature, and they were really nice. there were so many different amazing colors and swirls and things and it was really amazing. there was a sunset, and a tree and a river, and a big fiery red and orange and yellow sun. i don't know, it just made me happy that she seemed to think i was special. i mean, i was a weird child. sometimes i feel like i still am.

"anyway, she told me that i was a good kid, and she hoped to see me again one day. i swore to her that i would find her and say hi." Josh looked up at the ceiling for a moment, holding Tyler. "i dunno why i decided to tell you that. it's just that, that one day you tripped over me in calc, i looked into your eyes and immediately remembered what Sarah had told me. i couldn't explain how you were making me feel until i realized that i was in love. and i love you so much," he sighed.

Josh looked down at Tyler and saw that he was asleep.

he just hoped that he wasn't having any nightmares or anything. Tyler didn't deserve this. it was his nature of course, to doubt himself, and to be insecure, but he didn't deserve to have his regular life taken away from him because of it.

he listened to Tyler's heartbeat to help himself sleep. the fact that it was beating made Josh so happy. it was a comforting and steady heart beat.

don't let me be

gone