CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE ☞ Y. MIN

step 4: milk

you ended up staying over at my house. you carried me all the way to my bed and i wanted you to sleep next to me but i didn't want to wake up having to argue with you, which would've resulted in you leaving me. it wasn't like i was really asleep either. i would have told you to take the guest bedroom since taehyung had flown to daegu for a few days but you had opted to sleep on the couch.

i know how tired you are in your studio, yoongi. and you should know that it's not good for your back when you sit down for eighteen hours straight. you can't keep working yourself like this. it hurts to see you in pain and it hurts even more when you don't let me take care of you. 

i cried myself to sleep that night, after i heard your soft snores from the living room. but it wasn't until i woke up at four in the morning. i got up to grab a glass of water, hoping it would refresh my palette and help me sleep.

no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't ignore the baby bear snoring faintly on my couch. i tried my best to sneak around the sofa to get a good look at your sleepy face. you have dark circles under your eyes, hyung. you've been skipping on sleep lately, haven't you? 

i wanted to touch you. i wanted to get close and examine the finer details of your face. i wanted to kiss you. and...i almost did. i pressed my hand softly against your cheek and i saw you lean into my touch. i couldn't help myself, so i pulled closer. it may have been dark, but don't think i didn't see that smile on your face when i kissed you on the forehead. 

i immediately retracted my hand, afraid that you were awake the entire time. but i saw your smile slowly fade. you weren't awake. thank goodness. 

i went back into my room and grabbed my blanket. i took it outside and covered it on your shriveled body. you should dress warmly next time, hyung. you'll catch a cold. i hate seeing you sick. so please stay healthy for me. stay healthy for jiminie please. 

and don't worry about me. i don't need a blanket. the wellness of your health and happiness is enough to warm me up.

i slept with said warmness in my heart and satisfaction in my stomach. but i woke up the next morning with emptiness. 

my blanket was nicely wrapping my body, tucked in as if a child getting ready for bed. and when i walked out to the living room, you weren't there. i looked outside my driveway. neither was your car.

the least you could have done was tell me where you went. why did you go? did you have somewhere to be? how could you just leave me without saying something? what have you become? am i no longer important to you? do you see how much pain you've put me through? do you know what i've been through to hide everything from you? do you, min yoongi? yeah. it's the least you could've done.  

it was six in the morning. it's too early to open your studio, it's not until another two hours til your work opens, and namjoon is in gwangju with hobi. so where could you have gone, min yoongi? am i that much of a burden that you didn't want to be around me?

i dragged myself back to my room and i noticed a blue stickie on my nightstand.

"sorry about yesterday, minnie. i'll make it up to you."

sure you will. you haven't broken a promise in 12 years. but the first one happened to be 12 years ago when you said you'd spend every friendversary date with me and only me. so why start lying now?