CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE ☞ Y. MIN

step 11: shatter the existing glass

thanks, yoongi. now taehyung is mad at me because i didn't patch things up with you. he should've known that i was never good with arguments. you'd always do the talking for me and the apologies always came from you whether it was your fault or not. 

i'm sorry, hyung. for making you apologize for my mistakes. i'm truly sorry about making you do everything for me even though i didn't deserve it. please forgive me as i send my deepest apologies about the things i've said to you and about you in the past that must've hurt your feelings. i swear i didn't really mean any of them.

i've never admitted responsibility to any of my mistakes because you always took the bullet for me. i'm sorry for everything i am. i'm sorry for existing and ruining your life. and i'm sorry about not being able to say this in person. 

i would have thanked you. i heard from jungkook, who heard from hoseok, that you had a fight with seokjin. two days after i stopped talking to you, you immediately caught on and hoseok-hyung said you started worrying like a panicked, distressed mother who just witnessed their child getting kidnapped. 

seokjin told you to not worry about me, he said i was practically an adult and that i'd come up sooner or later. you defended me, telling the strawberry boy that even though i'm of legal age to be considered an adult, i was and always will be your little baby. 

that was sweet of you, yoongi. thank you.

seokjin got annoyed by the fact that you paid more attention to someone who didn't seem to care for you at the time, than toward someone who was willing to give you the world at the ready.

why didn't you, yoongi? why didn't you just choose seokjin and move on? it wasn't like you loved me. it wasn't like if you stayed, i could have given you half of what seokjin could've given you. it wasn't like you needed me or that i had anything worth your admiration. 

i was nothing and had nothing. seokjin was everything and had anything. why did you give up the chance to be happy? 

then i heard that hoseok-hyung ended up comforting seokjin because you yelled at the poor guy. 

you yelled at the strawberry boy because he "occupied" you. he "distracted" you from time alone, with me. 

it wasn't his fault. it wasn't seokjin's fault, yoongi. i was yours.

you were the one who allowed him to occupy your time and you were the one who allowed him to distract you, to take you away from me. you didn't do anything to stop it. 

please tell seokjin that it wasn't his fault. please tell seokjin that he didn't do anything wrong. 

if you still want to be considered my friend, even though we are absolutely not on speaking terms, please apologize to the pretty strawberry for me, yoongi. tell him that he's very lucky to have captured your heart, at least for a little while. 

i have been trying for what seems like all my life and yet, we're still just friends.