Planted

Chapter 14 Sometimes it is better not to know.

Bea, Jo, Logan and I were huddled over different entries in my mother's journal while the children were asleep in Logan's massive futon bed. The evening had begun with great quantities of the best food from various hawker centres consumed amidst tales of the children's latest antics. For dessert, Logan's delicious homemade ice-cream and story after story of Sophie's impressive feats. After a bottle of root beer each, we had settled down to the main topic of conversation--my mother.

Bea quickly took charge and insisted we reading aloud her entries in chronological order. She began first,

"There are turning points in my life where irreversible metamorphosis occurs and the path I choose leads me to new destinations --these become the defining moments of change I will cherish forever. Marrying Beng Yu was one, having Sandy the other and falling for Zach is the third. Zach is everything Beng Yu isn't. Sophisticated, suave, charming, classy and wealthy. I'm so tired of struggling to build TUF, to care for Sandy and support Beng Yu at the same time. Why is everything so hard with Beng Yu? Not so with Zach. With him, I am constantly introduced to endless possibilities, parties, dinners, club activities, important people and beautiful things. With Zach, I am relaxed. He lavishes me with luxurious gifts and days with him are easy. Fun. Exciting. Alive. I can't wait to leave Beng Yu and elope with Zach, but I must plan out the details carefully. What do I do with Sandy? I can't trust Beng Yu to bring her up properly and Zach would not want me with a two-year old child in tow. Not to worry, I'm sure Zach and I will have other children."

Everyone paused to let the words sink in and looked at me.

"I'm okay; it gets worse. Brace yourself Logan," I warned.

"You mean, not only does she yell at me in real life, she records my misdemeanors in her journal? Ricochet. Bulletproof. I'm Titanium." Logan rolled his eyes, humming.

Up next, Jo reads a letter aloud,

"Dearest Daisy,

You are the perfect woman for me. Since I met you, I have found you irresistible-- the epitome of a powerful woman. Your glossy hair, clear skin, petite frame appears attractive, feminine and appealing but with one word you cut men down to size. Come with me on new adventures. Full of zest, I can imagine you devouring oceans and continents. Let's meet each new challenge side by side, my love. Together, we will learn languages, see new lands and explore new possibilities together. I am so glad I found you and I love you.

Yours always,

Zach"

"He didn't know she was married?" Jo commented, "Whoa, this is like one of those soaps on television".

"I've got a journal entry, written six months after that," added Logan. He began to read,

"At first, I thought Zach was an open door into a carefree world of just me and him. But once, I was through the door, it slammed shut --Zach was a trap of another sort. I had replaced one set of shackles for another. Zach delighted in knocking me off balance; his mode revenge after I told him I was married with a child. His insecurity choked out all the joy that we could have shared because I have his baby growing inside me. With perverted pleasure, he seemed only able to keep his balance, when I couldn't keep mine. He would surprise me at the door at night when Sandy was asleep and Beng Yu was away. He would change our appointments and sulk if I had something else on. He would threaten to confront Beng Yu if I was being distant or threaten to end our relationship in fits of anger. He is just so used to getting his way. I feel like a victim to his dramatics. How can I get out of this?"

Bea and Jo slowly sandwiched Logan on either side and put their arms around him as I began to read,

"Goodbye my baby, Logan. I hope you find good parents. Zach's gone off, infatuated some new chick and doesn't deserve you. I'm a coward and don't deserve you either. I want to keep you so bad but I can't. Beng Yu must never find out."