Not Such a Bad Guy: Eric Cartman x Reader

Chapter Fourteen

*Your P.O.V.*

It felt nice to not be eating in the bathroom.  It felt nice to not have so many overwhelming feelings.  It felt really nice to have a friend again.  I had almost forgotten what gave me this sense of false happiness. 

The lunch bell rang, and Sally grabbed my wrist to lead me to the hall.  I instanly winced in pain and pulled away.

"You okay?" she asked.

I froze, "Yeah, I'm fine...I hurt my wrist the other day helping my dad carry things inside.  I took the whole one trip or die thing too seriously."

I let out a nervious laugh as she shot me a weird look.

"Oh, well I'm sorry.  I didn't know," she apologized.

"Don't worry about it," I shrugged.

I forced a smile upon my face as a wave of relief went through me.  I was brought back to Saturday night and remembered what became of me.

That's it.  That has to be the last time.  I am not like that.

I spent the rest of hte day on edge, worried if others could see right through me, see what I was hiding.

Things will only get a hundred times worse if people find out.  If Cartman finds out, I'll never live it down.

I had to keep my head down for the rest of the day.  I couldn't let anyone else get that close to finding out again.

I went home after school and did my normal thing.  It wasn't until I got ready for bed that something out of the ordiary popped up.

I had a new twitter follower called The_Real_(Y/N)_(L/N).

What the-

I opened up the profile and the cover photo was a screenshot from the notorious Clyde video.

I hit another breaking point- a huge breaking point.

What in God's name did I do to deserve this?

I wanted to cry, but I couldn't.  I couldn't even force a single tear to come out.

They all hate me.  I can't blame them all too much though.  I'm starting to hate me too.

~Time Skip~

I'll admit that it was getting worse.  I had done it twelve times in the past week.  It was really starting to take its toll on me.  I, by no means, was looking to kill.  None of them were deep enough for that.  I didn't feel like I had the right to take my own life.  I only did it to feel the numbing pain.  It wasn't too much pain, just enough to silence the screaming in my mind.  It's a pretty fucked up thing to do, I'll admit that.

That weekend, Sally invited me to go out with her.  She was my last hope for an actual friend.  The last person I felt I could trust.  Maybe if I went with her that night , I could've saved our realtionship, but I didn't go.  I sat in my room, staring at a wall because I felt that I would just ruin everyone else's time.  I didn't want to be a bother...