Anastasia

Broken II

"Duff, its 3 am." Ana had opened the door to find the bass player on her porch, "Come in." she made room in the entrance so he could come in.

"Yeah, I know Im sorry, it was kind of urgent." he said taking a seat on her vintage leather couch.

"Whats up?" she sat next to him, tugging at the bottom of her Nike hoodie.

He pulled out the letter Slash had written out of his back jean pocket. "Here," he gave the letter to her. She shyly took it from him and ripped it open and started reading it.

"Did he give this to you?" she said not looking up from the letter.

"Yeah, he's pretty fucked up by the way." he slouched back on the couch.

She started crying, not able to hold back the tears. "What am I supposed to do now?" she barely spoke through her sobs. She looked up at him, eyes still filled with tears. He moved closer to her and hugged her. "Hey, don't cry. Just call him, meet up and talk it through." he brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her forehead.

"You know what the worst part is? I tried to hate him. After everything he did, it should have been easy, right?" her voice was faint and cut off by her sobbing.

"I know, I know. I also know that both of you love each other. You can't force yourself to hate someone... Especially when you love them." he lifted up her chin. "Call him. Okay?"

"Yeah," she sniffed "I will thank you." she hugged him again.

--

"Hello?" Slash's low morning voice answered the phone. It was 8 am, who the fuck calls this early?

"Its me."

He shot off of the couch so quick he tripped over his own feet and fell back down on the couch.

"Ana.... Hi." he scratched his head and bit his lip not knowing what to say or do. H hadn't expected her to call, or even talk to him at all.

"Can you meet me? Im at the pier."

"Yeah of course. I'll see you in 15." he took the phone in between his shoulder and his ear as he struggled to pull up his jeans.

"Okay."

--

There she was. Leaning over the railing of the pier, a cup of coffee in her hand and a cigarette between her pink lips. She was wearing sweatpants and a large hoodie that covered, he had never in his life seen her wear sweatpants. As if she had sensed that he was here, she looked over her shoulder.

"Oh, hey." she threw her cigarette into the water and turned around. "Coffee?" she gestured holding up the paper cup.

"No, I'm good thanks." he said shyly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

The just stood there for what seemed like forever until he couldn't take it anymore.

"I will not make promises I cannot keep," he says to break the silence. "I will not promise you perfection. I will not promise you this will be easy. I will not promise to never hurt you. I will not promise to never leave you. I will not promise forever nor never. But I will promise this; I promise I will love you. And I promise that that love will stay with you for as long as I can help it." he stepped closer to her, his face was begging for her to understand. "As long as I am me and you are you, I'll always love you no matter what kind of stupid shit I pull. I don't think I can love anything else as much as I love you."

"I don't need you to make all these unrealistic promises. I don't even need you to tell me you love me.... All I need is for you to show me all the things you want to prove to me." she said quietly looking down at the floor.

He broke the gap between the two of them and engulfed her into a hug. She couldn't take it any longer either as she broke down and started crying.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry." he cupped her face in his hands looking into her tear filled eyes.

She kept crying, it was as if she had no control over her emotions, her brain, her eyes, her heart. She didn't know how to control it. His lips crashed onto hers and she never knew how much passion one could feel in just one kiss. How much desire and love two people can put into just one simple gesture of affection. His lips could've been her oxygen. He tasted the tears that were rolling down her face and on her lips and hated himself, even more, knowing that those tears were because of him.

"Say something," She whispered, her voice hoarse from crying. It cracked, and herstrength did too. The only remaining pride she had draining away with the tears. "Say something that won't make me cry."

He was still cupping her face in his hands "I love you, and the thought of losing you scares me so much. You're the only thing I want when I'm drunk or high. These drug-induced highs don't hold a candle to the way I feel when I'm with you." he kissed her again.

" I hate myself for this but, until it kills me to do it I'll give you second chances. It may be the definition of dysfunction but I don't fucking care anymore. If I'm breathing, I'm still loving you. If I'm breathing you have another chance to love me."

They were both dysfunctional, bipolar even at times, but it didn't matter. It didn't matter that they continuously broke their own hearts, they could both physically rip out each other's hearts and apologize to each other for bleeding.

They had both not believed in love until they met each other. He made her feel alive, and she healed him, and that was all they really needed.

Somehow they had always seemed to find their way back to each other and they could not tell whether it was an addiction or destiny.