Anastasia

A Different Ending

Loneliness is a strange thing. Too often, we feel alone in this world, yet we're constantly surrounded by people. We could stop being lonely so easy, if we'd just reach to anyone nearby; yet we hold on to loneliness so tightly as if we don't want it to be taken away. And I'm not sure why that is, but maybe its because being lonely is easier and less painful than trusting someone to not leave us behind. 

If one person reaches out to you, or even if you reach out to a person on your own...things can go a lot different in your life. You'd be surprised how much being honest with other people and yourself helps you. 

We are the way we are for a reason however, I have always believed that. The people we meet along the way we meet for a reason and each one brings something different to our lives, whether its good or bad, its an addition onto your experience on this planet we so call Earth. 

One small thing, one small word, one small gesture, one small embrace can change so many things... 

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January 23rd, 1991 - Second Rock In Rio II show

Backstage was packed with people and I felt like my oxygen levels were getting low by the second. I pushed past the what seems like a hundred people out of the way and tried to get to somewhere isolated. My life was a fucking mess at this point. My publicist had insisted I go to rehab for the third time and the press was up my ass everyday about my drug problem. No one was talking to me, not even anyone on set of the movie I was filming. I would be cooped up in my trailer all day getting buzzed and drinking, trying to not have any time for my brain to function properly. I hadn't even known how I had managed to get on a plane and fly all the way to Brazil.To be honest, I was pretty messed up on the plane, not gonna lie. 

My hands had started shaking at this point and I could feel my heart pounded beneath my chest as if it were going to burst out. It felt like my ribcage was stabbing my sides and I couldn't even feel my face anymore. I tried to steady myself on a wall and even out my breathing, 

"Its okay, its okay, its okay..." I shut my eyes, letting down the tears that were forming in the corners drip onto my suede boots. I bit down on my lip and let out air through my noise while resting my head against the wall. 

I didn't want to do this anymore, I didn't want to feel like this every time I was sober. Every time I got sober, my brain would start up, thinking and thinking and thinking. I hated it. I hated of remembering everything, remembering who I was and what kind of person I was. I hated remembering that I was so dependent on drugs and how neurotic I was. 

I tried to fix my posture, stood up straight and walked down the hallway looking down as I saw him from the corner of my eye. I expected him to walk right by like everyone else, but he stopped and asked if I was alright. I quickly faked a smile, something I was used to doing, and said I was fine as I started to step away from him when he stopped me. He wrapped is arms around me and simply held me in his arms, a prisoner in his firm grip of my shoulders. I instinctively grabbed him and held on, not wanting to let go; it was all I could do to keep from crying into his chest. He held me tightly, not rushing me, but tight enough to not let me fall, tight enough to fit some of my broken pieces back together. My head rested against his chest while his chin rest in the top of my head, Before he let go, he hugged me a little tighter and reminded me that everything was going to be okay. 

And for the first time in forever, I believed it. 

That was when I realized that he was different, he had always been the only one to ask me to stay. The one person who needed me no matter what got in the way. The only person I knew I had to be okay for. And for his sake I tried to be, and for my sake I believed I could be. 

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Hey guys! I hope you liked this book. It was very difficult for me to finish it off because I had no idea how to and I just loved writing it so much. 

Let me know if you guys are up for a sequel of the Ana and Slash, I had an idea of a different ending of could've happened if she had not ended her life. Let me know some of your ideas I would LOVE to hear back from you guys!!!

love youuuuuuuu