Anastasia

Addict

Oprah Interview 1995
"Addicts will forever remain addicts. I'm sorry to break it to everyone. It's a personality trait, whether you are addicted to work, drugs, coffee, alcohol, music whatever. We will always find something to attach ourselves to, when one addiction ends another one starts. I guess what my point is, we gotta be careful what we hook ourselves on to. It hasn't worked out well for me, but I hope one day I'll figure it out and I'll turn this personality trait into something that can actually affect my life positively."
Anastasia cleared her throats and looked down at her dress smoothing it out and then back up at the interviewer. "Why have you been so open about your past and current addictions? Are you currently still struggling?"
" I've decided to be open, because I feel like people should know what it is like, what we go through and how we deal with it or fear with it to understand the pain and suffering it causes when you're addicted to the bad stuff. We can't just push it aside, say it's bad, and not talk about. That's stupid. We need to be more open about it in order for people to gain insight and actually learn about it therefore help themselves or get help or to even avoid it completely."
"Do you think your childhood affected it in any sense?"
"Well, I never really though that far deep." She laughed her eyes wrinkling up shaking her head and putting her hand to her mouth thinking about the question "I started taking antidepressants when I was around 10 years old, and I still do till this day." She chuckled "maybe that?" She shrugged.
"Do you think it spiralled out of control once you met your partner? Did his lifestyle influence yours?"
She shook her head no "no, if anything I think I influenced him for the worst." She chuckled "we met back in a time where shit like that was normal you know, no one cared what you did what you took or what you smoked cause everyone was doing it. They didn't look down at you if anything, they offered. Honestly we were both a bit crazy," she crossed her eyes making a funny face and laughed "it seems cool for a while then you realize slowly, in the worst way possible," she thought back about when his heart stopped and her overdoses, "that you're killing yourself, and then you realize it's not so cool after all." She chuckled shaking her head.
"You two have been together for almost 10 years now. How do you think you kept it running for so long?"
"Patience. Our ego." She counted her fingers " accepting that no one else would ever accept us the way we do with each other, and a lot of swallowed pride." She chuckled "shit, now that I think of it," she sighed brining a cigarette to her lips and lighting it "I don't even know how. I guess just luck." She shrugged raising her eyebrows.
"Do you think that if you didn't have your addictions getting in the way, your career would have taken a different turn?"
"Well," she let out another sigh exhaling cigarette smoke, "I have an oscar and two golden globes so, I guess I did something right along the way."
"You spoke about marriage in another interview saying that it didn't really matter and that it was "irrelevant", why?"
"Well because it doesn't matter as long as you're with that person. Me and Saul," she stopped and chuckled "well, me and Slash," she rolled her eyes and ashed her cigarette "live together, and have been living together for nearly 5 years now, and honestly I feel like it's the same thing. Do I want to start a family with him, yes, eventually when the time is right, but do I need to be married in order to do that and officially call him mine? No, he's already mine and so is our life together, I don't need a gesture such as a proposal or whatever to justify my relationship with him."
"As of right now where do you see yourself in the next 10 years?"
She took another drag of her cigarette and chuckled "Hopefully by this time," she checked her watch "asleep."