Paint your pain (Deidara x Reader: Modern)

3. Sympathy

Warning: This story has parts discussing rape, torture, self harm and suicide

I woke up, my eyes red and swollen from crying. School is hell. I didn't want any of this, I didn't want to tell them. I hate them, but worst of all I hate myself. This life is filled with too much pain, I lay back in my bed and sigh. My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. You slowly shuffled towards the door and swung it open. "Oh my god (Y/n) are you OK?", Sai asks. You nod and walk back into your bedroom. You face plant on your bed, you feel another weight on the bed. "(Y/n) please tell me, did something happen?", he asks. You groan, nodding gently. He helps you sit up and goes to make you some tea. "Its good I came early", he says with a smile. "So anyway what happened?". You sigh and rub your eyes. "Well the Akatsuki came up to me telling me no one loved me, I said I already knew, they made a comment about my mother and I flipped out yelling and showing my scars", you say calmly. Sai gave you a closed eye smile. "I know that it is hard for you, being teased and all, I just want you to be safe OK". You nod and hug him. "I miss hugs, hadn't had one in a while until yesterday", you giggled. You left the room to get dressed.

When you had gotten dressed and eaten you and Sai left for school. You saw the Akatsuki and shot them a glare. You hated people like them, thinking that they had a right to say what ever they want to who ever they want. Hurting everyone around them with out a single care in the world. Sai held your hand and you blushed. You knew he didn't mean it in a romantic way, he was a bit clueless when it came to that. His hand was warm and he gave you reassuring squeezes. It made you feel cared for. Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud fangirling Sakura. "Awww are you two dating?", she asks, her eyes sparking. You giggled, then shook your head. "He is just being a good friend", you say.Deidara walks past he looks from you to Sai and then down to your connected hands. He 'hn's and walks away. You went to your first class which was science, you sat in a random seat and heard someone sit next to you. You turned your head and saw Itachi, one of the Akatsuki. You swear under your breath and look away. "I know that you hate me", he says calmly. You turn to him, staying him in his dark eyes. "Why wouldn't I, your part of the group who won't leave me alone, but have I seen you somewhere else before?", you ask. He gently smiles. "Yes, Itami was my cousin, you were the girl who never left his side, his flower that grew from the mud". Your eyes widened, you looked away. "Why are you guys doing this to me, I've suffered enough", you sigh. Itachi places his hand on your shoulder and gives you a sympathetic look. "I am very sorry, the leader of our group the Akatsuki won't rest until he gets rid of you". You look down at your fidgeting fingers. "Why does he want that?", you ask. Itachi shrugs his shoulders. "Please be careful, Itami asked for me to watch over you while he couldn't". You smiled at the floor and thanked Itachi.

Time skip

Finally the last period of the day and its art. You gently smile as you walk down the corridor with Sai. "You look happy", he giggles. You nod your head. "I love art, I don't think I could live with out it", you laughed. You sat in your usual seat and Miss, Yuhi called out the attendance. You saw Deidara looking at you, you wanted him to go away. But then you noticed something, was that... sadness? You shrugged it off and began chatting with Sai. "Alright everyone this year in art we are going to be doing a lot of work in pairs, I have all assigned you partners, I will call them out now", announces Miss. Yuhi. You desperately hoped that you would get Sai. "Ok so Deidara and Shino, Sai and (Y/N)". You were mentally jumping up and down with excitement. "Oh wait sorry I read it wrong, Deidara and (Y/n), Sai and Shino". You died. You no longer lived, you were just a ghost. You swore under your breath, looking down at your feet. Why did I have to be put with an Akatsuki member? Any one at all just not one of those jerks. I mean I would rather have Shino then f***ing Deidara, the guy who is obsessed with bugs. Your consciousness returned to your body, unfortunately. "Ok now go and talk to your partners and discuss what you are going to be doing for this first project", the teacher announces. You don't even bother to move, but Deidara does. He gets up and sits in the empty seat next to you. "What do you wanna do?", he asks in a bored voice. "I dunno, what do you wanna do?". He seemed to be getting frustrated, but calmed down. "Don't feel sorry for me, I know your groups cold hearted intentions", you whisper just loud enough for him to hear. "Look I'm sorry I didn't know what he was going to do,un", he growls. "Well it didn't look like you were doing anything to stop him". Deidara sighs and headbutts the table, he groans in pain but doesn't move. I look over at him and raise an eyebrow, then let out a soft giggle. He looks up at you, staring for a while. "You can stop looking at me now", you giggle again. His face heats up and he looks away. "Idiot", mutters Sasori from the other side of the table. "Anyway what do you wanna do?", he asks again. "Well I noticed that your good with clay so maybe you could make something and then we paint it", you say. He nods. "Hey um can we do it at your house, my mom isn't very good with people coming over", he asks rubbing the back of his neck. "Is it cause I'm a girl?". He nervously nods, you let out a giggle. "My Dad used to do that". Deidara looks at you as if waiting for a sudden reaction, like crying. But it never comes. "You told us your dad died of cancer, how are you so cheerful while talking about him?", he asks. "Well my dad was so happy and cheerful, he taught me how to paint and express myself through art, when ever I think of him I remember a great man who loved his family", you smile.

Deidara felt his heartbeat speed up .Everything seemed to be going in slow motion, her eyes lit up when she spoke about her art and her hair fell perfectly down her shoulders. She truly was beautiful. Deidara mentally slapped himself. Ugh I can't be having these feeling for this girl, she hates me. I growl at Sasori who makes kissy faces at me and (Y/n). She looks at me and smiles, after everything I've done she smiles, after everything she's been through she continues to smile. I wanted to protect her, I wanted to be there for her, to be with her. I wanted to touch her soft hair, feel her lips against mine. I mentally slapped myself again, what the f*** is wrong with me.

I noticed Deidara acting strange. "Hey Dei, are you alright?", you ask. His face heats up. "Sorry, I won't call you Dei if you don't want me to", she says with a closed eye smile. "No its fine call me what ever". "Kay Barbie". He glared at me. "So not anything?", I joked. He softened up a bit and we began to chat. He wasn't half bad, he loved his art and was actually really nice. If only he didn't hang out with the Akatsuki, he would be so fun to hang out with. You giggle at the thought and Deidara looks up at you. You stared into his baby blue eyes, something happened inside you. You felt all warm inside, like this was where you belonged. With him...