Lights (2019)

Graveyard Picnic

To say I wasn't able to sleep last night would be an understatement. I sit across the table from Louis at breakfast, my expression carefully guarded. I stir my spoon in my cereal absentmindedly. Flashes from the night before continue to enter my mind. Harry's blazing forest eyes; his hands on me as he touched his lips to mine; the sheer anger in Louis' eyes when he caught us.

"I should've punched him," Louis mumbles, breaking the ice. I snap my head up. I stare at him, not speaking. "You know what I found out while you were exchanging saliva with that prick? He's fucking Jane again. He's got so many girls, Blair, and I won't let you be one of them."

I'm still silent. I am thankful that he is protective, I really am. But he is not even my real brother in fact he has only really been a part of my life for a little over a year. I don't know why he feels compelled to butt his head into my business.

Louis looks me in the eye. "You won't see him again, will you?"

"He's my--" I begin.

"Don't even fucking go there," Louis snaps. "From what I saw last night, he's not your best friend anymore."

I keep my expression blank as I get up to wash my now soggy cereal down the drain. I am not hungry. "It was a mistake. I'm going to go talk to him now."

"You have work."

"It's my day off." I grumble before grabbing my keys from the kitchen counter.

Louis stares at me. "Blair," he says, his eyes softening. "I don't know what I have to do and say to make you listen. Harry is scum."

I glare at him. "Let me handle my friendship with Harry," I say before walking out of the kitchen door.

As I pull out of the driveway, I feel bad for bitching at Louis. I've just always been defensive about Harry--now more than ever. At this point it was just irritating, he may not like Harry, but he should at least respect my decisions. I am not going to force the two of them to hang out. I just wish there could be one day where they were in the same room without trying to bite each other's heads off.

My feelings and emotions are strung out as I take the familiar roads to Harry's place. What will I say to him? What will he say to me? Will he kiss me again? I never would have thought that I would be in this situation. I mean I did think about it, but I never thought anything would actually come from it. I pull up to the curb and shut my car off. The lights are on downstairs and Harry's car is in the driveway. He's definitely home. I get out of my car and walk to the front door, ringing the doorbell. I do have a key to his house, but it doesn't feel right to use it when he doesn't know that I'm coming in advance. I wait at the doorstep for two, then five minutes. I ring again. This time, he answers almost immediately. I can't help but notice his hair looks curlier than usual today, his tattoos hidden beneath a black t-shirt.

"Sorry I didn't answer at first," he says. "I was on the phone."

"Oh," I say. He is tense, and I see it. He gestures for me to come in, and I follow him to the kitchen where I take a seat at the kitchen island. What do I say? What will he say? Harry leans against the counter, his eyes dark. He is waiting for me to say the first line, but I am not sure what to say. Sorry I kicked you out last night after confessing my love for you--isn't exactly a conversation starter.

"So," I say, looking at my hands. "What's up?"

Harry crosses his arms over his chest. "That's it? 'What's up?'"

I don't look at him. "Well, what do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, maybe explain why you sided with goddamn Louis!"