Lights (2019)

Party Too Hard

"Blair?" I look up from my book to see Jay standing above me. She smiles down at me, wringing her hands. Jay felt bad asking me anything, which usually meant she would ask Louis to do it. This must have been a last resort to ask me. "Could you...sorry to bother you...watch Daisy while I run to the store?" She asks me. "Fizzy and Phoebe are at an art class and Lottie is with friends and your father's at work, and who knows where Louis is." She chuckles lightly. I feel bad that she feels as though she is inconveniencing me in some way.

"Sure, no problem," I smile, shutting my book.

"Thank you, Blair," she says, shooting me a smile. "You're a God's send."

I just smile as I place my book on the coffee table. Jay grabs her purse from the kitchen. I watch as Jay leaves for the store, watching her car as it pulls out of the drive way from the window in front room. I walk upstairs to find Daisy watching television in the younger kids' play room. I was happy to have siblings, up until Jay and my dad got married I was an only child. Even though they tested me at times, I have found myself loving them as if they were my blood.

When my father first told me he was marrying Jay, I instantly wanted to hate her. Which was natural I suppose; I was wondering how could my father could simply replace my mother like that? Not only was she his wife and the mother of his child, but she was his best friend. I might have been young when she died, but I saw the way they laughed and joked together. She made him so happy. After she passed away, my dad and I drifted apart. I had Harry to keep my feet on the ground, and my father his drinking buddies.

As soon as I was old enough, I got the hell out of my dad's house. I had my own place for a while. It was nice, small, but enough for me. It was a small apartment on the other side of the town that had a wonderful view of the park. Harry loved it. I even gave him a key and he would visit time to time, sitting in his favorite chair by the window. Those were the good days. It sucks, you know? When you live these wonderful days, but you don't know you are going to look back on them as the "good" days. It's just sad.

It was December of last year, when I got the phone call from my dad. Naturally I let it go to voice mail, but then when I listened back to it I realized that he was telling me about his engagement and pending marriage. I will be honest, I was furious. I hadn't even known he was dating anyone, and suddenly he just dropped this bombshell on me. He pleaded and begged for me to come to the wedding, but I wouldn't have it. He kept sending me all the save the dates and invitations, and finally I caved. Best decision of my life. In the end, I met Louis and the girls. I connected with Louis, I suppose. He understood what I was feeling. He didn't like the idea of his mom remarrying either. We found peace in each other, and it was because of Louis that I ended up going to the wedding. I even enjoyed it... a little--but don't tell anyone that. If you do, I will deny it.

I moved back in with my dad and Jay a couple months later. My rent had gone up, and my bookstore salary wasn't cutting it anymore. Harry was strongly against this decision and offered to help me pay, but I refused. I really don't like owing people. If I owe someone I have to pay them back, and I really don't want that weight on my shoulders. I know Harry's only reason for not wanting me to move was because of Louis, but I didn't and still don't care. So here I am, babysitting my stepsister on a rainy summer afternoon in early August.

I plop down on a small couch before I open my book back up to read. Daisy was listening to the television rather loudly.  I try to focus on the words on the page and tune out the television. I kind of miss it, having my own place. Even if I had enough money for an apartment, I am not sure I would use it.

"Why are you doing that?" Daisy asks. I look up to see her staring at me strangely.

"Doing what?"