Rightfully Mine

Chapter 2

It's probably not surprising that my relationship with John changed after that horrible day. He was apparently clueless as to why, but I couldn't stand being around him much anymore. It seemed like all he ever wanted to do was talk about Jenny. Unless of course she was there, which was most of the time now.

I'd attempted to act normal at first. I acted like it didn't bother me that John wanted Jenny to join us at lunch and when we went fishing or wherever.

It was impossible not to roll my eyes repeatedly at how completely helpless Jenny seemed around John. He had to do everything for her. Suddenly she couldn't get on a horse or bait a hook or anything without squealing and hanging all over him.

After a few miserable trips, I started giving them excuses as to why I couldn't go with them anymore. I started eating lunch with other people too. It really hurt that John didn't seem to mind very much. He only looked a little confused as to why I suddenly had other plans, but he let me go without much fuss.

I cried every night into my pillow and wondered why I wasn't good enough for him. Why did he have to like Jenny, of all people?

At least, I told myself it wouldn't last. John would see how selfish and spoiled Jenny was. She was my sister and I loved her, but she had always been babied and treated like a princess by most people. She still threw tantrums, for goodness sake. If she didn't get her way, she would cry and pout for days. The only thing that finally made her stop her dramatics was when Papa threatened a good whooping if she didn't.

John would see what she was really like and come back to me. I was sure of it.

Or I was really trying to be, anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Kat!" Andrew shouted, making me jump and successfully pulling my attention from the spot where John and Jenny sat across the school yard, mostly hidden behind a large oak tree. Believing no one saw, John was stealing kisses. Jenny was weakly pretending to mind.

"What?" I asked, guilty at having been caught watching them.

"Do you wanted to come over after school?" He sounded impatient, as though this wasn't the first, or maybe even the second time he asked. "Rachel's cat had kittens last night. I thought you might want to see them."

"Oh. Yeah, I'd like that. Thanks." I hoped he couldn't tell that I didn't really care about his sister's kittens right now.

He glanced towards John and Jenny before he looked back at me, irritated and obviously not fooled.

"You know he's in love with Jenny," he said bluntly.

Feeling a little like I'd been slapped, I blushed and turned away. "I know," I admitted quietly.

I'd given up believing that John was going to see Jenny for who she really was and come back to me, quite a while ago. They'd been unofficially courting for almost two years now and he was still crazy about her.

Frustrated, Andrew sighed loudly. "Look, I'm sorry. I know you..."

I met his eyes. "No, I'm sorry. I can't help it and I hate that I can't." Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks any minute.

Andrew was a really great guy. He was sweet and caring and extraordinarily patient. Occasionally, I felt bad that our friendship had basically started as my attempt to make John jealous, but Andrew and I had been real friends for a long time, and we'd gotten much closer in the last few years. Understandably, it had happened about the time that I'd given up on waiting for John. I needed a friend and Andrew wanted the job. However, being my friend was not the only thing Andrew wanted.

Thankfully, it would still be a year or so before I'd technically be allowed to entertain thoughts of courting and marriage, but I knew that Andrew was hoping that once Papa gave his blessing, we would head in that direction. I dreaded the day I would have to make that decision. It was one that could end our friendship. I wanted to like Andrew. I really did. I just couldn't get John out of my mind.

When I pictured my future, the only time I could bear what I saw was when it was with John. He was everything I'd always wanted. He was perfect. A future apart from him - or worse, a future as his sister - was bleak, at best. I couldn't even imagine loving someone else.

"He's an idiot," Andrew said. "I don't understand how he can't see how perfect you are."

I half-smiled and glanced down. Andrew said things like that all the time. It didn't really make me uncomfortable anymore, I just didn't necessarily believe it. Still, it was nice to hear.

"You're the most beautiful girl in the world." He took my hand and kissed it softly.

"Thank you."

What I really wanted to do was to call him on his lie. Jenny surpassed me in beauty a long time ago.

"So, about these kittens." I changed the subject. "Do I get to keep one?"

He grinned. "I made Rachel promise not to tell anyone else until you could pick one out."

Andrew described the kittens and I refused to allow any more errant glances in John's direction. Of course, I didn't really need to look at him. I had his face, voice, and basically everything else about him, memorized.

I did my best to focus on what Andrew was saying and to show enthusiasm. It wasn't that difficult since I loved kittens, but I was still distracted by thoughts of John and I hoped Andrew couldn't tell. He deserved so much better, but he seemed to want me.

I really needed to make an effort to push John out of my mind completely. I couldn't have him and it wasn't fair to Andrew for me to be this way. Andrew was wonderful in so many ways and I knew he'd make a good husband one day.

I just wish I didn't keep thinking that John would make a better one.