BBC Sherlock imagines

The Ice Man

Moriarty POV:
I entered my mansion,after weeks of being held captive in a cell for weeks. I sat on my sofa like I had done millions of times before, but now it felt different, lonely and cold. I ran my fingers through my sweaty, unwashed hair and sighed loudly. I decided to have a warm shower and get changed. After 20 minutes or so I returned to my sofa and sat down again to watch telly and relax. I knew I needed sleep, I was exhausted, but I also knew that I wouldn't be able to. So there I stayed watching crap telly and thinking-just thinking. I didn't even understand what I was thinking about, what I was feeling. I'd never felt anything before apart from mischief and chaos and hatred. But this was none of them, it was different, strange but also good at the same time.
When I was there, in the torture chamber, there was this man. I knew who it was of course. I knew him before but had never met him. It wasn't under the best circumstances of course. I mean being tortured for weeks wasn't fun; it was horrible but he made it just about bearable. While they hit me and kicked me and burned me I just sat there,staring into the darkness, thinking about him. I knew after all the pain he would come in and talk to me and that made it all ok again. I let out a yell of anger. Why did I feel like this, it couldn't be love, I've been reliably told I'm not capable of love, even all the therapists I had growing up said I was a textbook psychopath. What if it was love, I can't be in love-that would ruin everything! His brother hates me, gladly but nothing could ever happen anyway. That would make me weak and in my line of work weakness gets you killed. I lay down on the sofa, agitated. I tried to force myself to think of something else but it wasn't going well. I found myself lost in my thoughts, imagining what it would be like to be held by his large arms, to be able to look in his blue ocean eyes and tell him I loved him and for him to say it back and kiss me. To be able to sleep next to him and listen to his steady breaths and drift off too. And with that my eyes closed and I began to fall into a deep, well needed sleep...

To be continued...