BBC Sherlock imagines

Grief

It was a Saturday afternoon and Sherlock was so bored out of his mind that he practically begged you to play bored games with him. You were in the middle of playing operation when there was a knock at the door. "Come in!" Sherlock yelled, not bothering to get up and answer it and two men in dark suits opened the door and entered the flat. "You're going to take me away again?" Sherlock sarcastically questioned but they simply shook their heads. "I think you'd like to be sat down Mr Holmes" one said but Sherlock remained standing stubbornly. "Let's all sit down, shall we and I'll go and make tea" you suggested, aware that the situation would be delicate. The three men sat down and you went off to the kitchen to follow through with your offer.
When you returned, it was silent and Sherlock was simply staring at the two formal looking men. You sat down in what had become your seat after placing the tray of mugs on the coffee table. "So, why are you here if not to 'take us away'" you asked, breaking the awkward silence. "They're here to deliver news- bad by the looks of it" Sherlock deduced before either of the men could open their mouths. "Mr Holmes, we worked for your brother and have been given the job of informing, you, his next of kin, of his unfortunate death." One man said. "We're sorry for your loss" the other added. Your eyes widened and you looked over at Sherlock who was showing absolutely no sign of sadness- or any emotion for that matter. "Well thank you for coming over. I think it's best you leave now?" You suggested, standing up and taking over the situation, knowing that Sherlock wouldn't. When they had left the building completely, you closed the door and turned back to a still unemotional Sherlock. "Are you alright?" You asked "I know you loved him, despite how the two of you displayed it. It's ok to feel you know, you don't have to hide it"
"So what exactly do you propose. What, I talk about my feelings?" He said coldly. "Come on Sherlock, you know what I mean" you replied, a little hurt. "No. I don't" he yelled back, still with the same blank expression on his face. He got up and walked down the corridor to his room and you heard the door slam loudly. You stayed where you were and simply listened, knowing tonight was a 'danger night' as John and Mycroft put it- had put it. You you took a deep breath and sat back in your chair. You and Mycroft had been close too and it hurt knowing you weren't going to see him ever again. But you knew that you had to be strong for Sherlock- he was sad even if he didn't show it.

A couple of hours later you decided that Sherlock had had enough time to cool off and decided to go and check on him. You went and knocked on his door with no answer. You knocked again but still nothing. You were panicking now, scared that he'd done something stupid or taken something. You stood back and barged into the door, breaking the lock and falling into the room. You found Sherlock, sat at the end of his bed with his stuff thrown and broken all around him as he had been looking for something in his wardrobe. He looked up at you solemnly. You noticed that clutched in his hands was a photo of him and Mycroft as children, presumably the only one Sherlock owned. "Oh Sherlock" you sighed. "What am I going to do?" He asked and you could see tears forming in his eyes but he quickly blinked and looked away from you. You approached him slowly, avoiding any broken ceramic on the floor. You knelt down next to him on his place on the floor and said reassuringly; "it'll be ok, we'll get through this. He finally let his walls come crashing down, and they crashed hard. Tears finally spilled and a sob escaped his lips. You placed your hand on his shoulder, slightly taken aback at seeing him emotional. He sniffed, still crying and looked at you with round eyes. You sighed sympathetically and reached up your sleeve to wipe away the tears from his cheeks. You then opened your arms, not breaking eye contact. He hesitated at first but you smiled reassuringly and that was all it took. He fell down into your arms, burying himself into you and leaning all his weight on you as you held him as tight as you could. He continued crying and sobbing and you just held him and rubbed his back soothingly. You had underestimated Sherlock's idea of a hug and after about an hour of hugging, with no signs that it was going to stop, your arms went dead. You thought about breaking apart but he was still shaking and crying silently so you held on. After another hour or so, you felt his weight on you increase and after a couple of minutes you heard his breathing slow down and become heavier and realised he was asleep. You knew he was too heavy for you to lift onto his bed so instead you reached for a pillow and lay him down slowly. You cleared up the stuff around him and grabbed a blanket and placed it securely over him, tucking it in at the edges so he wouldn't roll around too much. You then sat yourself down in the armchair in the corner of his room. You were dating of course, but you both liked your own space so had your separate rooms and only shared a bed [innocently!!] when you both agreed on it. You intended to stay awake and watch over Sherlock so that you could be there if you woke up. However, having been out on a case the whole of the previous night, you were incredibly tired and it wasn't long until your eyelids fell closed and you drifted into a deep sleep.

Turned out it was a very deep sleep, because when you next woke up, it was daylight and you were looking up at a white ceiling. You blinked a couple of times to get rid of the sleepiness and stretched out, taking in your surroundings. You were in Sherlock's bed and the room was perfectly spotless, unlike last night. You glanced over to the chair you had fallen asleep in last night to see Sherlock had taken your place and was now watching over you. "Good morning" he said.
"Good morning. How did I get here?" You replied,confused. "Oh, I lifted you there this morning when I woke up. Sorry about last night I..." he mumbled the last part, looking down at his hands and trailing off at the end. "It's ok, you know. I'm not bothered and you shouldn't be either." You assured. "I shouldn't have kept you up like that, I must've lost track of time, and you shouldn't have had to do that. You have your own problems, I'm sorry" he explained. "Stop apologising! You've nothing to be sorry for! I'm glad, in fact, that you let me in. It's really important that you don't keep it all inside. And, if no one else, at least let me know how your feeling, talk about it if you want to, please just trust me. Any time you feel like doing that again, just come to me- no matter what time it is or what's going on with me. Promise?" You said. "Promise." He replied. "Good" you nodded, getting out of his bed, intending to go and make tea. "(Y/N)?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you. I really, really love you. You know that right?" He questioned.
"I love you too" you said, smiling like a little kid.