I went out today,everyone thinks I'm so happy,the smiliest person alive.
The smiliest hurt the most.
No one noticed,the fact I was dying.
I had to walk away and go cry on a bench,I didn't want anyone to notice.
My friend came,she saw me sad,I smiled back at her,so she new I wasn't hurt,when truth is I wanted to die.
I know u say you care,do you?
Do you really?
Can I please just die,please.
'If you love me let me go.'
Let me die,it's for the best.
'If you look in the mirror and don't like what u see you can find out first hand what it's like to be me' - mcr.
I hate myself.
WHY CANT I DIE,I NEED TO.
I'm loosing it,I'm crazy.
Fucking mental,stupid,pathetic,useless,worthless,ugly,fat,repulsive,sick,Ill,Depressed,disgusting,lumpy,idiotic,stupid,a bitch,dead.
I'm dead.
Almost,dying to be precise.
Look at me,sat here writing my feelings,like a suicide diary.
I have this one guy friend-lets call him mark.
He knows,he's trying to help me,he's trying so hard and I'm just shooting him down,I'm trying to listen to him,trying so so hard.
He's helping a bit,lots,it just won't work.
He's really nice,really kind,sweet and a brother to me,I need to thank him.
I'm trying hard to die,so hard u won't need to worry about me,I'll be safe as long as I'm dead.
Dead.
Ha,I want that so bad.
Even my fake smile is starting to fade.
I'm sorry.
Goodnight.
