Author By Chance

Eight; And thus on this night a guardian angel is born

How is it that when I am writing my chapters out for my book the words just flow out naturally? Excluding the times when I am under the spell of writer's block, like what the current situation is to do with my writing.

However, when you are dealing with a real life situation such as... You just can't seem to form a single coherent sentence. Ian needs to know this, it has gone on for 3 months and I can't keep it hidden, I mean Lincoln of all people found out. I hardly know the guy and he seemed to easily and with utter sophistication find out.

He found out... that I was in love with my best friend and I can't bring myself to tell Ian this.

What if I ruin the friendship that has been my ever flourishing light in my life? What if he stops being my best friend? I shake the nasty and horrible questions that are trying to threaten my eyes to damnation. I have survived through a lot of things in my life and this situation is no different than all of those other situations in my life.

I sigh as I shakily grab my phone off my bench and with no hesitation dial Ian's number from memory. "Pick up, pick up Ian," I whisper almost to the point of tears.

To say I was scared of what was to come from this situation is an understatement, because I was beyond the point of scared, I was emotionally drained. When I heard his all too familiar voice though, I was brought back to my former self. All it took was his voice and I could find myself again.

"Katherine, what a pleasant surprise! How are you?" Ian says in a groggy voice. Probably just woke up I thought, it is midnight after all.

"I'm doing good... Okay maybe I'm not," I say, as my voice cracks from the realisation that I can finally be at peace with this 3 year crush. Or at least for the most part have a sense of closure on the 3 year crush.

"What's up?" He asks, his voice full of concern.

"You better sit down for this information," I say. I hear the sound of sheets ruffling before I choose to continue speaking once more.

"I-I-I am going for the part of Hamlet," I say. Why am I so stupid? The words were all there out on the pages, I just had to say them.

I can blame myself for this though, I have tried several times to try and tell Ian that I like him but I just couldn't bring myself to do just that. It seemed so simple and easier in my head but when I try to go do it, it just comes out like a bunch of nothingness.

"Congratulations! That's all? Nothing at all really seriously troubling you for you to call me in the middle of the night?" He asks, even though I know he can see straight through me like a damn window. He knows something is up with me but he can't pinpoint it.

"I'm in...in... love with you," I spontaneously blurt out.

There is a loud audible gasp from Ian's end of the line and I nervously bite my bottom lip to prevent myself from saying anything else. He can know about my crush on him but he doesn't need to know about the fact that I wrote a book. A book that is paired with two other books that are completely unrelated to my crush on Ian.

One day I may tell him that the last book in the book series is about him. We all know that, that is a lie, my conscious says annoyingly.

"Whoa, that is amazing but I don't feel the same way," he says, breaking my heart into a thousand pieces.

"Oh, well I just wanted to tell you this information before it physically rips me apart and eats me bit by bit," I say calmly as I can, despite the fact that my inner emotions contradicts this facade that I'm so desperately trying to uphold.

"I'm sorry..." Ian whispers.

"Well, alright... I guess that's sorted then," I say. I don't want to argue with him but in this moment my heart was in control and if he was going to hurt me, well my heart's logically way to interpret this, is to hurt him right back.