Speed

101 2 1

by leftforgotten

by leftforgotten

"Yes.... Yes.... Yes.... lieutenant thank you...."
I put up the phone and sat down.
"What's up mate?"
"Stetler."
"What's with him?"
"I asked him to get me some information about the chances of work here in the lab"
"What did he tell you?"
"My shooting exam is next month. And my qualifications as a CSI must be checked by a specialist. I asked him to assign me to a working CSI to observe his/her work."
"Did he?"
"Yeah. He just did. I"m gonna work with somebody from the night shift"
"Why not with us?"
"Conflict of interests".
"So....what now?"
"Now Eric....my new life starts here. "
"Meaning?"
"Meaning I start working for Alexx. Nightshifts with that CSI. And I'm moving out."
"Why????"
"You know why. I'll be always grateful to you and your parents for all this. But it's time to stand on my own."
"I understand... But will you drop by?"
"Eric ,I'm at the morgue.... Day by day. You can visit me there ;)"
"Sounded weird"
"Yeah... But I need more space to live my own life"
"Are you and H ok?"
"Well... "
"Speed... Give him the chance. He"s suffering. "
"He doesn't think I'm good enough to work here"
"No. He thinks it will take time." "That's the difference you think?"
"Yeah. So I think."
"Ok ,Speed. Your opinion. I hate watching you two like that. You're my friends, both of you. It kills me really. The same's with Calleigh. "
"What's with her?"
"You're fucking blind, man? She's crazy about you!"
I sat down immediately. "What? What the hell are you talking about?"
"Geez man... I don't know what she sees in you! All the guys around would be happy to be with Cal, what's wrong with you?"
I was doubtfounded." Eric...Eric! Stop shouting at me. Why didn't you tell me, huh?"
"Well, you're a grown up, aren't you? "
"Yeah... Yeah. "
I turned around. Eric was surprised. He approached and asked "what's up Speed? What's going on? Hey!"
"I cannot be with her Delko."
"Why?"
"I just....don't feel the same. I realized I don't know her well enough. I'm not ready for this. But I don't want to hurt her. I really don't. So please cover for me until I sort it all out. It's not...it's not..."
"Speed easy, easy.. It's ok to feel that way. It's all stressful for you I know. Maybe we should all leave you for a while..."
"No. It's not like that. I need space and fresh perspective. I... I..need to get back to work."
Running on the morgue stairs I felt sick. Geez... How all this happened? How did it come to this? Calleigh? Yeah, a friend. A colleague. But a girlfriend? Not really... I don't want to hurt her, not after all this...."
"Alexx!"
"Tim, what's up.?"
"I need to talk to you"
"Right now?"
"Yeah."
"But I'm in the middle of t... "
"Please. 2 minutes."
I left. Alexx came out a minute later "Timmy?What"s wrong?"
"Did you know about Calleigh?"
"That she's into you?Yeah.
I saw her in your hospital room talking to you. It seemed pretty obvious."
"I can't stand it, Alexx....can't stand it...."
"What, baby?"
"I destroy everything...I hurt Horatio, now I'm gonna hurt Calleigh."
"Why? You don't feel it, do you?"
"No... I don't know"
"Can't push youself into love, sugar. Let it flow and do nothing."
"But how can I? How can I?
It would be better for me never come back here."
I turned around and started running.
"Tim!!! Tim!!! Wait!" Alexx shouted after me. But I just couldn't stop...
When I entered the lab, Paula told me that H is in his room.
I went straight there.
"Lieut...H."
"Speed?"
"I need to talk."
"Then talk."
"I never wanted to act like a psycho. I didn't want to hurt you, nor say the things I've said. I'm gonna work so hard and show all of you I can be good again. I can shoot well, I practised. I'm gonna work in the field with the trainer Csi to come back here as an employee. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused. I need you in my life. I care for you. For all of you. Give me a chance again."
"Speed...you don't have to.."
"Let me finish. You, Alexx, Eric, Cal are my family. I don't want anyone else.I don't need anyone else. Please forgive me."
All I notice before storming out was his sad look. And teary eyes.
I rushed downstairs straight into ballistics. She was there- sitting at the table.
"Cal. I need to talk. "
"Sure...What's up?"
"Is that true? You're interested?"
"Well... Surprised me a little... But yes... I thought I made it clear, there at the hospital ..."
"I'm just dumb then."
"Well, you surprized me a bit"
"I'm suprized too... Cal I came to tell you that... I'm not ready yet. I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you"
"But I know... Take your time. As much as you want..."
"What if it never comes? What then?"
"Nothing, Tim.I'll love you anyway but I'll survive..."
I touched her soft cheek. "I'm sorry baby. It's all fucked up".
"I know."
"Please don't cry. Don't cry."
I hugged her. "I'm not worth it."
"You're wrong, Tim Speedle. You are worth every tear. And I
...love you. "
I looked at her -" I love you too Calleigh..."
I kissed her forehead." Not sure what kind of love is this though..."
"I'll wait until you find out."
I left. Saw people looking at me and whispering, but I didn't care. I opened the door and ran to the beach.
I had to think everything over. My life anew.

The end

You can find more in the next part

https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/114543800-standing-on-my-own-part-3-csi-miami-fanfic