Why'd You Leave Me?[ A Bensler FanFic]

Chapter 32

"No." I whimpered, and he looked at me.

"I'm sorry, baby." He breathed, and I frowned.

"Help me up." I spoke, and he helped me up, but I walked away and into the house.

I slammed the door to my bedroom and ran my hands through my hair as tears ran down my cheeks.

I started to pace the room.

"Harper." Lark breathed, and I looked at him.

"I don't want you to leave again! We are going to have Tucker, and then you are going to leave again? It is like I'm going to be a single mother." I whimpered, and he frowned.

"I'm not going to-" He started, and I started to sob. I sat on the bed, and hung my head. My body shook, and he rubbed my back.

"I'm sorry, Harper. I told them that I couldn't go, but they said I couldn't say no. I'm healed." He spoke, and I sniffled.

"Lark, we only have a week left!" I exclaimed.

"I'm sorry! I was going to tell you earlier, but then everything with your mother and you are exhausted..." He trailed off when he saw the expression on my face.

"You've known for more than 9 weeks?" I questioned, and he bit his lip.

"I'm-" He started again, but I walked past him and out of the room.

"Harper!"

=~=

I drove away from our house and I parked a bit down the road from the base.

I didn't know what to think nor feel. 

He was leaving again, and wasn't going to be here for when Tucker is born. He said we would go through it together, but now I would have to go through it alone. It scared the shit out of me, thinking that Lark might die before meeting our son.

I cried for awhile before noticing that my phone was ringing. I wiped at my tears and then looked for my phone.

I grabbed it and then swallowed hard before answering it.

"Hi." I sniffled.

"Where did you go?" Lark questioned.

"I'm parked outside of the base. I don't want to talk." I replied, as I went to hang up.

"Harper, please. I want to talk about this. I hate to see you this upset." He replied, and I swallowed hard.

"I need space, Lark. That is all I want right now."

=~=

I went home later, my mind still foggy from everything, but I was tired. Extremely tired. I unlocked the house, and no one was there. My mother had texted me and said they were going out to watch a late movie. I was surprised that Lark went, but maybe he hated me now because I wanted space.

I went into my bedroom and changed into some comfy clothes before climbing into bed. I ran my hand over my stomach as I closed my eyes and thought about everything that was going to happen. 

I wonder if my father felt like I did when my mother went undercover so many years ago. 

Like that he was going to lose his soul mate, and was going to have to raise me alone. And he did. He lost my mother and was stuck with me. He raised me and did it with such grace, that it was amazing, but I don't think I'd be able to do it the same way he did. I was going to fail. I was going to be alone. 

He had the whole crew helping him with me, and I live so far away from the rest of my family and friends, that the only one that might be able to help is Lana, and she has her own life, and doesn't need to be bothered with my life, nor Tucker's.

I felt my eyes grow heavy, and I fell into a troubled sleep. One that didn't make me feel better, but made me feel even worse.

=~=

Lark left two days later, and it was just as emotional as the first time he left, shortly after we got married. We weren't on the best terms when he left, but we decided that he was going to try and retire from the army when he got back. But when he said those words, I knew that they were too good to be true. He wasn't going to just leave his job. He loves protecting our country, and at that moment, it seemed like he loved it more than he loved me and Tucker.

Then Tucker came three days later. 

"Hi handsome." I whispered, as the nurse laid my son in my arms. He had light brown hair like Lark, and just the chubbiest cheeks that were adorable.

I fell in love with him as soon as I laid eyes on him.

He yawned loudly in my arms, and I kissed his forehead before cuddling him close.

"Getting born must be hard." I chuckled, as he yawned again.

I looked at him for awhile, before Lana joined me again.

"So, I called your parents. They are on their way up." She spoke, and I nodded.

She came over and sat on the chair next to my bed. She reached out and touched Tucker's small fist and smiled.

"God is he cute!" She exclaimed, and Tucker yawned again and it just made his Aunt smile bigger.

"I just wish that..." I spoke, trailing off.

"I know, but he is going to get that message."

"I hope so. I just don't know anymore, Lana." I sighed, and she pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear and sighed.

"You still love him, right?" She asked, and I nodded quickly, not even thinking.

"I love your brother so much." I replied, and she nodded.

"Well then don't doubt anything. You have Tucker and Lark." She smiled, and I sighed.

"I don't know how you put something so simply, yet make it have so much meaning." I groaned, and she laughed.

"It's a skill. Now hand over my nephew."

I shifted Tucker into her arms, and she cuddled him close.

"You look just like your Daddy when he was born." She cooed, and Tucker opened his eyes slightly, unsure of who the new person was.

He closed his eyes again and grunted as he shifted in her arms. She laughed as I smiled.

He did look just like Lark. But I'm scared that if Lark doesn't come back home, the fact that they share so much, is going to be the death of me.

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