Spencer Reid One Shots

Perpetually Incomplete - Fluff

so this is a song fic for a writing challenge on tumblr, based on the song little bird by ed sheeran. never before in my life have I ever written 2,700 words in one sitting, but there's a first time for everything. this is my baby please be nice to it. and instead of putting the lyrics in italics throughout the story I wove them into actual events. I hope you guys like it ahh 

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For all that he reads, Spencer really didn't think that writing would be so much of a problem for him. Especially for what he's trying to write - his vows to you. But here he is, sitting at his desk with an absolutely blank mind and blank paper.

When he proposed to you a couple months back, he'd already known that you'd want to write your own vows. Easy for you to say, he thought. You're actually a writer. He wonders if you're also using work hours to attempt to come up with something to say at the altar. He knows he shouldn't be, and technically Hotch could get him in trouble for this, but he has no other choice, really. His two states of being are working and spending time with you, and he couldn't exactly ask you to leave him alone to stare at a blank page for hours and hours. That would make it too obvious that he has no idea what to say.

It confuses Spencer, really. He has more love for you than he ever imagined his heart could hold. So why is it so hard for him to write a couple damn verses about it?

"What's eating you, Spence?" JJ asks, startling Spencer. He looks up to see her standing by her desk, and he wonders how long she's been there unnoticed. She tilts her head in concern, seeing right through him. He sighs, dropping his pen and leaning back.

"Wedding vows," is all Spencer says, understanding instantly crossing his friend's face. She smiles sadly, walking over to lean on his desk. She peers over her shoulder and winces when she sees the blank page.

"Nothing, huh?" She asks with a grimace. He nods woefully, and she pats his shoulder.

"I don't understand it. I feel so much love, but I can't seem to find the words," he explains, clearly disappointed in himself. JJ shakes her head, wishing she could help.

"Don't beat yourself up, Spence. Love is hard to put into words. Will and I aren't exactly poets, and I'm sure you remember our vow-less ceremony. I don't know, maybe try... think of your happy memories with her, how about that?" JJ tries. Spencer nods again, and JJ can almost physically see him retreat into his mind. She smiles, patting his shoulder one more time before returning to her desk.

Meanwhile, Spencer flips through his countless memories with you. After bouncing back and forth with no destination, he decides he ought to start from the beginning of his love.

"Come inside, please," Spencer asks you, tugging on the hand intertwined with his to pull you towards his apartment building. You resist, giving him a look he can only describe as bittersweet.

"I can't, Spencer. And besides, I'm tired. I won't be good company," you insist, trying to pull away. Spencer's steel grip keeps you from getting too far, and he studies your face carefully with sadness in his eyes.

"With everything that's been going on recently, you're entitled to a nap. Besides, if you fall asleep... it wouldn't be the worst thing," he says sheepishly. You smile at him, and it's then that he knows he's in love with you. Your smile alone brings warmth to his chest. As sunshine streams onto your face, he crumbles under the weight of how much he wants to tell you he loves you. But he just recently convinced you to go on a couple dates with him, and you haven't even agreed to labels. Despite being friends for years and having mutual feelings, you had consistently said that it would only lead to regret. He might've taken it as an insult if he didn't know better, but even without profiling skills he could tell that you were afraid of commitment.