Reckless & Clumsy

Part 12

Justin hugs you tight and you try to hold your tears in. You'd had an awesome week with Justin. He took you to the beach, to the theatre and to a lot of other places and you had a good time all day. But he has to go back to Atlanta now and you aren't going to see him for a while. "I already miss you by only thinking about being without you", he says. You smile and kiss his cheek. There were paparazzi everywhere so you couldn't kiss his lips, but you just imagined his cheek'd be his lips. "I'll visit you as soon as I can", you say and pull away from the hug. "How long is is until summer break?", Justin asks. (You're on spring break since it passed half a year without Justin after you left him back in Atlanta). "3 months", you answer and look down. "I'm gonna make sure to spend as much time with you as possible during summer break.", he whispers in your ear so only you can hear it. Then he walks towards the big black car which is standing in front if your house to pick Justin up and get him to the airport. He gets into the car and waves you a last time and you wave back, watching the car driving away, a bunch of paparazzi cars following. You stand there for a while, rewatching the last week in your mind. Only three months until summerbreak, you think. And I still can call him and speak to him through the phone. You sigh and go back into the house to your room to watch what blondie wants to tell the world today. You sigh and put your pencil down. You've been studying all day for the final exams this year. You don't really know what you want to do after this year of school, you don't HAVE to go anymore, you could stop it. But you don't even want to imagine your parents reaction to you quitting school. You take your phone out of yout backpack you always take to school and turn it on. Still no message from Justin. You'd been texting all day long right after he left, but this was more than obe and a half month ago and you kind of stopped believing that all these things really happened. The only thing what reminded you of him was a light grey shirt he forgot to take with him and the fact that some people on the street still asked you for Justin's phone number. You didn't really dare to text Justin all the time, since he didn't text you and you think you might would annoy him. You haven't been texting him since a quite long timt now, probably like three weeks. It made you sad that he obviously didn't want to be with you anymore, but the fact that it happened so slow and you had a lot to do with studying made you being able to kind of blend it out. Blondie told you about his life every day, he started hanging out with Kendall Jenner again. You'd already caught yourself crying whilst watching pictures of Justin dancing with Kendall in a club in LA but you kind of let it drift away and just kept studying. But then your door bell rings and takes you out of your daydream. You hear your mother's footsteps tpwards the door. You hear the door open. You hear a voice talking to your mom. You hear a familiar voice talking to your mom. No wait- it's not just a familiar voice, it's HIS voice. You gasp and quickly try to think of a reason why he'd be here. Did he come to tell you he wanted to break up? To make the final cut? To tell you this was all just a mistake and he'd like to continue his life without you? You feel tears coming up when you think about that. The next second, you hear a knock on your door. You don't react. "*yn*?", you hear his voice outside the door. Another knock. Another one. A last one. "Ah fuck privacy I know you're in there ,*yn* , open the door or i'll just come in", you hear him say. You still don't react. "Ok, you wanted it this way", you hear him say slightly angry and the next second you heard your door open. You just sit there, on your desk, your back to the door. "*yn*?", he asks. "are you alright?" You feel his arms wrap around you from behind and you ask yourself what he wants. You open your mouth to say something, just something, you don't think of what you're gonna say, but you'll never know because he cuts your not even started sentence off by kissing your lips. You can't help but kiss back and you feel slight disappointment when he breaks away after only a few seconds. "I missed that", he whispers against your lips. Maybe, you think, I've just imagined him drifting away from me. Maybe, he still wants me. He gives you the answer by kissing you again, this time passionate and more intensive. || Believe or not I'm finally posting ;) Sorry for me not being active but I've got quite a lot going on at school at the moment... And guys, don't think it's all sweet and cute and happy again. "Justin...", you whisper against the kiss. He breaks away and looks worried at you. "Yeah?" "I don't know... it's just... I... I haven't talked to you in so long and... I kind of don't know if I'maready ready for this", you say. "Aw, babe... I'm sorry, I didn't think about that I was just to see you again...", Justin says and causes you to smile. He just always finds a way to get a smile on your face. "C'mon", he says and pulls you in a tight hug. You snuggle against his chest and enjoy the moment. "So tell me what happened in the last few months", you say after a while. "Well... I think blondie has told you quite much everything... A lot of performing and meet and greets... Just showing love to my beliebers...", he says. "What happened on here? Fortunately, you don't have everything that happens in your life exposed to the whole world.", he asks with a smile. "Not really much. A lot of watching TV, a lot of school and a lot of undone algebra exercises", you say and smile. Justin laughs and you chuckle. "Wanna do something?", Justin ask. "What do you mean? (␣)", you answer. "Like just go outside and do something..." You nod and you two leave your room. You go past your mother who looks at you quickly but as soon as she sees that Justin is with you she looks back on her newspaper and continues reading. You chuckle because you totally understand her. Justin just always seems so protective. One of the reasons why you can't be mad with him for a long time. One of many reasons. So you leave the house and let Justin lead you. He probably doesn't know where he wants to go himself but you just let it be. After a couple of minutes of silent walking you find yourself in the middle of a forest, or at least somewhere in a forest and you start to wonder how you got there so fast. There is a forest near your house but you didn't know it was possible to get to it so fast. "Where are you going?", you ask Justin and he turns around to face you. He takes your hand and inhales heavily, then chuckles and mumbles: "I don't have a clue, *yn*" You smirk. You walk some more, still him deciding where to go. After some more minutes you see a whole green field with flowers in front of you, no human beings anywhere exept you and Justin. Your eyes widen as you see the huge flower-field. "Are you sure you didn't know where you were going?", you ask Justin. You can't really imagine him just walking somewhere and finding a place like this. But Justin nods and then chuckles. "We even managed to escape from the good old paps", he says. You smile and walk a little bit into the field. You don't see it but you know Justin is following you. You lay down somewhere and look at the sky. It isn't all blue, if it was you'd have been sure you'd be dreaming, but the fact that there are several little clouds covering the blue and the feeling of a little grass tickling your neck make you being sure it is real. Justin lays down next to you and looks at the sky as well. "Why did you come here?", you ask after a while. "What do you mean? [ ;) ]", Justin asks and sits up so he can look at your face. "Why did you come here? Why now?", you ask again. "I wanted to see my baby girl", Justin says and hovers over you and places little kisses down your neck. "Justin...", you say really soft, almost whispering, trying to focus on what you wanted to say. But that's not that easy when there's someone sitting on your lap and kissing you all over. "Yeah, baby?", Justin says seducively against your neck and then carries on. "Justin, stop it" Justin sighs and stops it but he stays sitting on your lap. "What is the problem?", he asks you with an annoyed undertone in his voice. "I... I have this thing in my mind that just won't disappear", you say, thinking of the pictures of Justin dancing with Kendall you'd seen on TV. Justin's facial expression quickly changes from annoyed to worried and you try to figure out how you should start your

sentence. "So.... Uhmm... I think you know I kind of use to watch Blondie....? So there were this pictures and rumors of you and... and Kendall and I just don't know what to think about that and-" "Wait, *yn*. I need to tell you something.", Justin cuts you off. You look at him, expecting the worst. "The first second I saw you, that day in Atlanta when I found the sleeping girl on a bench at the trainstation, next to a homeless, I knew you were different.""I didn't know that I was going to fall in love with this girl at this point, but I know that I did now. But you have to understand that I have friends. Kendall is nothing but a friend. I'm sometimes not sure if SHE knows that, but for me it's only friendship. I just want you to know what I want you, only you. Even though you're 5 years younger than me, even though we have to hide all the time and even though I'm sometimes not sure if YOU want me.... I want you and that's final.", Justin continues, causing your eyes to tear up. You try to blink the tears away but it doesn't really work. "Wow.... That's... no one ever said something like this to me", you stutter gently. Justins smiles and pulls you in a hug. "Have we this out of the world now?", he asks then. You nod and look back at the sky. It's still not all blue, but there's only a tiny little cloud. Justin lays back down next to you and grabs your hand. "That could be a scene in one of those super sweet films my friends always want me to watch", you say. Justin chuckles and nods in agreement. "That's what I love about you.", he says gently. "What do you mean? [ ;) ]" "I like that the first question you asked me was the color of my toothbrush, that you don't like romantic films and that you let me the time to explain myself when I have to" "Say that to my parents, they raised me like this", you answer and smirk about how cute he is.

You sigh and turn your phone off. Justin already headed off to the hotel we is staying and you're thinking about what just happened. The field of flowers, what he said to you. You really want to believe him, but the pictures of him and all these other girls won't go out of your mind. What if it is going to happen again?, you ask yourself. What if he's going to leave again and I'll have to see Blondie talking about new pictures of him and Kendall again? She looks georgeous. She's his age. A lot of people would like to see them together. Why would he want you and not an attractive mature woman, who is famous, rich and just georgeous all the way? The way he treats you shows you he wants you. But as soon as he isn't with you anymore, you just can't believe it's real. You shake your head and exhale loudly. Stop the doubts. He told you he wants you. Why would he lie? He hasn't got any reason, so just be happy he's here for you and enjoy the time with him, you tell yourself and grab the TV controler. You turn the TV on and you freeze. The first thing you see is a picture of Justin. But he's not alone. Of course, there's Blondie on the screen but she's not the only woman. Your eyes follow Justin's arm down to his hand. It's holding another hand. A woman's hand. Your eyes follow the woman's arm up, until you see her face. Kendall. "...this picture, which was taken half an hour ago, by some paparazzi from TMZ", you hear Blondie's voice say and you can't handle it anymore. You press the red power button and the screen turns black.