Reckless & Clumsy

Part 13

19 months 2 weeks 4 days 7 hours and 3 minutes of boredom, stress, sadness, joy, anger, disgust and a whole bunch of other emotions later: #imagineYou finally get home from your half time job at starbucks and all you want to do is lay straight on your bed and just sleep. But there's still a lot to do. Your parents aren't at home so you'll have to cook to keep your stommack silent. Your room needs to be cleaned up and you have to study for finals. You turn the TV in the living room on to be somehow entertained whilst putting a frozen pizza into the micro wave. You set the timer and get a plate and prepare a glass of orange juice. Then you put the pizza into the micro wave and go back to the living room. The coca cola advertissement just ends and you see a familiar sign on the screen. "Hollywood Live" say the big pink letters on the screen. You chuckle when you remember yourself watching it all the time when you were a little younger. A tall, brown haired woman stands in the middle of the screen and says something about that new star you've never even heard of, constantly trying to stop her boobs falling out of her shirt, if you can call that small piece of fabric a shirt. You're a little dissappointed that Blondie obviously found a better job, but you're also glad. She'd remind you of too much. You don't want to think about what you'd been successfully kept away from your mind for more than a year now. You'd deleted all your contacts on your phone and with his number, you deleted all your memories. Sometimes, when you had a bad night, you dreamed about him, finding yourself all sweathy in your bed seconds after. But you'd moved on. He didn't wamt you, so you didn't want him. That's what you told yourself for the last months. And you had managed to convince yourself. You'd started to dance, jazzdance to be precise, a mix between ballett and hiphop. The dancing really helped you getting all that stuff out of your mind. And you met a lot of new people.

You're about to turn the TV off when you see something on the screen that catches your eyes. You want to look away but you can't. It's only a tiny picture of him, in a small box in the left corner of the screen. "coming up", say the pink letters next to it. You blink and try to get your eyes off the screen but you still can't move a millimeter. The picture gets bigger and suddenly, you don't really know how it happened, you find youself on the couch watching the brownhaired woman which you decided to call brownie, just for fun, talking about him. He is releasing a new single. Soon. Amd there's some drama with him and that girl Xenia. You don't know much about her, you also don't really want to. A penetrant smell comes to you and you have to discover a black burned pizza in the microwave a few seconds later. You sigh and smile about yourself. You turn the TV off and open all the windows to get the smell out and get some bread to eat since the pizza isn't really eatable anymore. On your way upstairs to your room your phone rings. You swallow the last bite of bread and pick it up. "Hello?", you ask. "Hi. *yn*", a familiar voice says. You smile and answer: "Hi Noah! What's up?" "Not much, just wanted to ask you if you're gonna come to the training tomorrow... We really need to rehearse all together, it's not much time left until the dance competition.", he says in a worried tone. "Yeah sure, tomorrow, 5:00 PM?", you ask and he agrees. You say bye and hang up. Noah. He's 19, dancer, good looking. If there wouldn't be these wrong thoughts, you could problemless fall in love with him. If ther hadn't been this stupid asshole breaking your heart a couple of months ago.

"*yn*, you're late. Stop, stop, stop, everyone!", your trainer shouts and looks angrily at you. The music stops and you sigh. "Break for everyone, *yn* come here I need to talk to you", he says and everyone goes out of the dancing studio to drink something. "*yn*, what is the problem? You've never been that unconcentrated before", Patrick, your trainer, says and you look down. "I don't know... I just... i don't know... I know the choreography and all but it's just...", you stutter. "*yn*, you need to fix this, the dance competition is next week. If we want to have a chance, every single dancer needs to be fully here and not only physically!", Patrick says and you nod. "You'll stay longer today, ok? You have to learn the steps. Maybe Noah stays here too, he can help you.", he adds and you nod again. "Go drink something and then i want to see full concentration", he says and you nod again and leave the studio. You go to the changing room and grab the bottle from your bag. "Are you alright?", you hear Noah ask. You turn around and see Noah sitting there with his own bottle in his hands. You nod and walk up to him and sit down next to him. "Patrick said I have to stay longer today, can you stay too?", you ask. "For sure.", Noah answers and you sit there in silence for a while. Then you hear Patrick shout something and you know the training continues. Patrick can be really rough and rude, but you learned a lot and all in all every single team member really liked him. You'd learned a lot from him in the last couple of years. After the training: