Horror 100 Volume 2

Fluff

Oh how I love fluff! I love the sight of fluff. Ever since I was little the sight of fluff has been the most beautiful thing in the world to me. From the way it looks to the way it feels, fluff was truly a miracle of God. My dad would give me strange looks, saying little boys shouldn't be doing such inappropriate things, but I didn't care. The fluff was just too beautiful.

People are constantly wondering what they were made for. They ask to the heavens trying to figure out what their part in God's grand plan is. To those people I say keep searching, because when you do find it you will never want to forgo your role. It's like you've been wandering through the dark your entire life and only just found the light. The only time I ever feel like I matter to Him, like I have a place in this world, is when I am holding fluff in my hand. The thought of going back to the dark frightens me right now. It frightens me because I know that's not what God wanted for me. Why would he ever want one of His children to be lost in the dark alone and scared?

The answer is that he doesn't.

Because God is kind, always trying to push us in the right direction.

I remember the first time I saw fluff. It was in one of my sister's teddy bears. I never knew my sister well, but my dad loved her. That much I know for sure. When he and mom left for the hospital, leaving me alone in that house, I made my way to what would be her room.

It was nice. The wallpaper was a really pretty pink, and in the middle was a white crib my dad made. He didn't want some store bought crib so he made one himself. He put so much work into it; it took him over a week to do. When I tried to help I messed up. I broke one of the legs he spent so long sanding to a smooth. I remember the broken end rolling on the floor like I remember the bruises afterwards.

Hitting wasn't a new thing to neither my mom, nor me but I think that time I deserved it. Mom always said that this baby was going to change dad. That he wouldn't be so angry and drunk anymore. She said that this baby would be the saving grace of this family. Dad would hit me for a lot of reasons I just didn't understand, but that time I did understand. He was busy loving my sister and I got in the way. She deserved love that I tried to steal by breaking that leg.

I deserved to be hit like my mom.

And dad deserved the knife like me.

At the time I was young so I didn't fully comprehend my own faults. I was angry, and in my anger I wanted retribution. I found one of the many stuffed bears that would be bestowed upon my unborn sister, and I brought it downstairs. Then I climbed up the counter and grabbed one of the knives mom would swing around when she was acting crazy. Then I sat there alone with the bear.

I had no idea what I was supposed to do back then. I thought maybe I should poke out its eye, so I rubbed the tip of the blade against the plastic dot. After a bit of time passed I decided to do what my mom always said and just stabbed it in there over and over. My first stab was weak, barley piercing the fur, but my second was better, and so was my third, and before I knew it I was on the path God wanted me. The sight still keeps me up in excitement: of the fluff flying through the air as I chopped my way through the bear.

How it gently floated to the ground.

How it was so light, and would fly back up with just a little push upward.

How clean and pure it was.

Oh God the fluff was so beautiful. I thought it would never stop, but the bear ran out leaving a thin furry clothe behind. There was only so much fluff that could be contained in that little body. I tried playing with the fluff that already came out, but it was dirty now. It had lost all of its original purity, so I acted rather mature for my age and cleaned up. God knows what dad would do to me if he found out. I was thinking of going up and getting another teddy bear, but then dad came back. He brought my little sister up to her crib and ignored me when I asked about mom. He just kept saying "Sweet Isabel. Beautiful Isabel," and I figured out mom wasn't coming back.