Life's Gone Crazy {Hamilton}

17

"Lin?" I asked once he had gotten me my tube, and I had fixed everything.

"Yeah?" He asked, looking at me confused, gently grabbing my arm and guiding me
down the hall.

"Why are you here?" I asked, softly, as he helped me walk.

"For the musical." He smiled.

"O-oh." I said, chuckling.

"Miss Gordon! Great to see you!" He called as we entered the Auditorium, she smiled and suddenly I realized that she had been on Broadway before. That's why her choreography and vocals were always great. They got to chatting and I sat next to London in the audience.

"What happened to your wrist?" She whispered and I looked down, quickly lowering my sleeve.

"Nothing." I lied.

"Jade, did you cut yourself!?" She whispered.

"Drop it London." I muttered. And she scowled, getting up and walking away. I sighed, burying my head in my hands as they ran through the dance for the opening, Not Alexander Hamilton, we were dancing a song Lin had written which was just violin, Chello, and piano playing a beautiful tune as we reenacted Hamilton's younger years. I played his mom. I saw someone sit down to the right of me and I looked over. Lin looked at me and I turned away.

"After practice we're talking." He whispered.

"Yay.." I muttered as they called me onstage to do my choreography.

•after practice•

I carried my backpack to Lin's car and climbed in as cameras flashed wildly. I lifted my air tank in and shut my door and watched as we drove off. Lin looked at me with tears in his eyes, I was confused, but I felt bad.

"Why would you do that to yourself." Lin whispered, wiping his left eye then his right.

"It took away the pain, etched the dark spot of my mind closed... I couldn't bear knowing I was the last Blasko. I watched five people die Lin! I couldn't take it. I regret ever doing it. I fucking regret it so much." I was sobbing near the end, I glanced at the clock, 6:04. Lin was silent. Staring straight ahead. I wiped under my eyes and felt tears continue to pour down my face. The car stopped and I looked at Lin as he climbed out, we were home. I climbed out after him and went up the elevator. I walked into the apartment and I went to Sebastian's room and wrote a note

'Lin and V,

I've gone up to the roof to talk to a good friend of mine, you know her. She's the whole reason you know me. I'll be back once I clear my head, promise.

-jadie.'

I taped the letter to the window and picked up some homework I could do on the roof, and I threw on a heavier jacket since it's usually colder on the roof. I climbed out the window and went up the stairs while texting mia.

Mimi the Great

Jadieee: roof, asap.

Mimi the Great: ten mins.

I sighed and sat down on some chairs that resided up there. Plants decorated the small fence that resided around the roof, by needless to say it was a beautiful place.

"Jade!" Mia called and I waved her over. She walked over and sat next to me.

"Thanks for actually showing up." I laughed looking at the beginning of the sunset.

"What happened? We usually schedule these meetings, we don't usually do them all the sudd--"

"Lin saw my wrist. Well London did and she told Lin." I felt tears begin to fill my eyes. Mia knew how much I hated the scars on my wrists and how I always promised to stop but for some reason I'd come back to it.

"Oh my god.." she muttered softly.

"I can't live like this." I sobbed out. Mia gave me a hug and rubbed my back. She began muttering Spanish to me, I actually had no idea what she was saying she was so choked up. I sobbed harder.

"You aren't killing yourself Jade. I won't let you!" She cried, grabbing my face and gently cupping it.

"I can't. I can't live like this Mia. You have to understand." I sobbed even harder than before if that was even possible.

"I was in your place before Jade. You can't do that to yourself. It's. You just can't." Mia's tears trickled down her face.

"I--"

"Jade?"

"Vanessa..."