ADOPTED BY PHAN

CHAPTER FOUR

"No! Dan! Put me down!" Iris shouts through giggles, punching at Dan's back as she hangs over his shoulder. The two have been home alone for a good twenty-minutes now, and Dan hasn't let Iris have any peace from him since.

Dan spins around, still holding Iris over his shoulder. "Why, Iris? Are you a wuss?"

Iris laughs harder, only managing to get one words out; "No!"

"Is you a wuss?" He presses on, laughing along with her.

"No! Now put me down! God-dammit!"

"Not until you admit to being a wuss!"

"I'm ho-" Phil interrupts, coming through the door with two grocery bags in his hands. "Oh god, what is going on?" He demands, stopping in his tracks when he catches sight of Dan and Iris.

"I'm not a wuss! I don't even know what that means!" Iris exclaims.

"Dan! Put Iris down!" Phil says, sounding just as unimpressed as Iris looks. The look on her face clearly asks Phil the question, 'Is this seriously the guy you're in love with?'

Dan gently lays Iris on the couch, walking over to Phil and grabbing the grocery bags.

"Jesus Christ, Phil! This isn't Halloween!" Dan exclaims, looking at all the candy Phil bought. He picks up a bag of Maltesers, getting ready to open the bag when Phil suddenly rips it out of his hands. "Hey-"

"Dan! These are for Iris!" He says, bringing the bags of candy over to the small girl lying on the couch.

"All of this?" She asks, pure shock falling over her features.

"All of it." Phil reassures, nodding his head. "Your lady items are buried somewhere in there, too." He adds, air quoting the words 'lady items' as he speaks.

"Thank you, daddy!" Iris shouts to Phil as he makes his way to the washroom. Dan quietly snorts out a laugh, mocking Phil's new name under his breath as he follows behind him.

Phil enters the bathroom, completely unaware that Dan is behind him. He turns around to close the door and is hit with a jump-scare when he sees Dan standing right there.

His hand on his chest, he shouts, "Dan! You just gave me a heart attack!" One his breathing is back to normal, he asks, "Why'd you follow me? I have to take a shower, get out!"

Phil attempts to push his boyfriend out of the room, but Dan protests. He wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him closer and forcing his lips to meet his.

Phil relaxes, moving his hands from Dan's chest to the back of his neck. His hands begin to tangle and play with his hair as the kiss grows more intense.

"Ah! My virgin eyes!" Iris shouts from behind the young men. They break the kiss, staying in their close embrace while laughing at their daughter.

"Oh go eat your Maltesers!" Dan says before falling into a fit of laughter again.

"Fine! I'll be sure to get my hands on your secret stash of Maltesers, too! Have fun with your shower sex!" Iris yells before running back to her candy.

And that's just what they did.

*     *     *

"How's your ass?" Iris asks with a mocking smile when Dan limps into the kitchen the next day. He's already dressed and looking ready to go out the door.

Even though it's lunch time, he grabs a bowl and a box of cereal. taking a carton of milk from the fridge, he drowns his Shreddies with the liquid. He pulls a spoon out of a kitchen drawer, then makes his way over to the breakfast bar.

"Great," He says between clenched teeth, pulling himself onto a chair. "Where's Phil?"

"He said something about picking up a girl named Louise," Iris says with a puzzled look.

"Oh! Yeah, that's right, Phil and I have the radio show today, so Louise will be looking after you." Dan says before sticking a spoonful of cereal in his mouth. He takes his time eating, though when he notices the worried look on Iris' face, he speaks up again; "Don't worry! She's really sweet, and she can't wait to meet you! She even has a daughter of her own which she'll be bringing along. Oh and her best friend Zoella will be coming here, too. I know that sounds like a full-house but Zoe will be leaving with me and Phil, so it'll just be you, Louise, and her daughter, Darcy. She's only a toddler so-"

As if on cue, Phil comes through the door with the exact group that Dan had predicted.

"Hey guys!" Phil says, before moving out of the way to allow Louise, Zoe, and Darcy into their flat.

As soon as Zoe sees Iris sitting at the table, her face lights up. She stops in her tracks and says loudly to Phil, "Oh my god! Is that her? She's so cute oh my god!" Her voice gets all high at the end and she puts a hand on her chest in awe.

"Jesus Christ," Dan mumbles, getting up and trying to walk as casually as possible over to the group. "There's no need to give her a heart attack, Zoe!"

"What's happened to you Dan? Why're you walking so funny?" She shoots back with a huge smile on her face.

"I think we all know what happened." Louise mumbles into Zoe's ear, causing the two to laugh.

"Okay that's enough," Dan says, putting his hand up to end the subject. He grabs his phone and leather jacket. "We've gotta get going now, be good!" He directs his last sentence to Iris, before walking out the door with Phil and Zoella on his tail.

As soon as the door is shut, Iris' eyes fall onto Louise, who stands in the hallway with Darcy perched on her hip.

"Hello! I know this must be all sudden and kind of scary, but while your parents are gone I'll be looking after you." Louise says with a smile, trying to make Iris feel more relaxed as her expression screams fear.

"I don't need a babysitter," she mumbles, turning back around in her chair to finish her lunch.

"Oh, I know Hun," Louise cuts in, coming up behind Iris with yet another smile. "Dan and Phil just didn't want you feeling lonely without anyone here!"

"Who 'dis?" Darcy speaks up, causing Iris to turn around and see the young girl's finger pointed right in her face.

"That's Iris, sweetie!" Louise replies. Darcy holds her arms out to Iris, as if gesturing to be held by her.

Louise let's out a soft laugh, "Oh, she wants you to hold her, Iris!"

Standing up, Iris holds out her arms to have Darcy jump into them. She's heavier than Iris expected, though she manages to prop her up onto her small hip.

Darcy smiles up at her as she sucks on her own thumb, and Iris can't help but smile back.

"This is so precious, I have to get a picture!" Louise exclaims, pulling out her iPhone.

Darcy begins to tangle her fingers through Iris' dark hair as Louise takes a few pictures of the two. They both wear adorable smiles, and it's clear that Iris is beginning to warm up to Louise.

And she's definitely building a friendship with young Darcy.