Still Burning

14- Sometimes

This is the reaction to Andy's pregnancy!
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Nathan was the last to get out. He stepped out of the small court room and sighed with relief. Although he wasn't outside, he felt as though he was breathing in fresh air.

Andy walked up to him. She fiddled with her fingers, looking down at her feet. "Nathan, please let me explain."

He shook his head. "You know what?" Andy looked up. "I really am happy about the pregnancy, don't get me wrong but just do me a favour and don't talk to me right now." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. They had been trying for so long to have a baby and he waited for the day she would run up to him and show him the pregnancy test.

He wanted to be the first one to know but he was kept in the dark. Watching everyone stare at him was embarrassing. How could he not know?

What about morning sickness? Was she keeping that away from me? How could I have not noticed?

As every thought rushed through his head, he felt his heart tighten at the thought of her hiding the pain from him. She had always come to him, told him if she had a problem but ever since he got involved in the court case, she had distanced herself. And he was to blame.

"Nathan please just-"

"You embarrassed me in front of everyone. I sat there like an idiot, having no clue you were two months pregnant." He laughed bitterly, glancing at Andy who had tears in her eyes. "In the last two months, you didn't think to tell me? I would have been so happy, Andy. So, so happy. I would have stopped everything, made sure you were okay and that our baby was safe. But you didn't trust me."

"I did!" she cried desperately. She reached out to hold his arm but he pulled it back. "Please, understand that I thought what was best-"

"Andy, you didn't trust me enough to tell me that you were pregnant. That's the end of it. What does that say about our relationship? I should have been the first one to know, De! No matter what was going on, you should have come to me. You're my wife. We have been trying for so long and when you finally get pregnant, you keep me in the dark?" He sighed heavily. "Please Andy, give me some time. I really am happy about our baby but please, give me some space."

Nathan watched as she walked away without another word. Jessica followed her quickly. He sighed as he sat down on the benches.

"Sometimes it's not always what it seems," Mo said as he sat down beside him. "My wife didn't tell me she was pregnant until she was six months. Barely had a bump. It was when she first came here. I was so stressed with everything, trying to get her passport and handling work and we had that big case about Gordon's death- bottom line, I was super stressed. She didn't even tell me. It was my mother-in-law who called up asking for the next baby scan."

"Mo, look, I really don't need this right now."

"I got so mad at her," Mo said. He paid no attention to Nathan who was sulking. "In Asian communities, people talk. Embarrassment was- still is such a big thing. I didn't speak to her for two whole weeks unless it was about the baby. She kept on telling me how she thought it was for the best and she was waiting for the right time."

"That's what Andy said..." Nathan whispered. He closed his eyes, pressing his thumbs on his head, trying to relieve the heaviness behind his eyes.

"It wasn't until I came home after work, found her with her eyes all red and swollen. My wife never cries. Like ever. Not unless she's really upset or going through a certain hormonal stage but that's about it." Mo shook the image of his wife away. "She couldn't look me in the eye, Lieutenant. You don't even understand how heartbroken I was seeing her like that. Seeing the woman I love, pregnant with our first child...all this guilt washed over me and I felt so angry at myself for letting her feel that way."