Still Burning

16- Jess and Carr

Jessica pushed open the door knowing it would already be unlocked. Her nose wrinkled at the smell of the large dustbin. She pushed open the next door but groaned in pain when she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder. Grumbling, she entered the number on the keypad and called.

"You have the key, you know that right?"

"Just open the fucking door, Simon." Carr buzzed her in and she stepped through the doors. Her feet tapped impatiently against the floor as she stood waiting for the lift.

Once she got to his door, she pushed it lightly to check if it was open so she didn't hurt herself the same way she did downstairs. She stepped into the house and closed the door behind her. Stepping over the toys, she made her way down the hallway and to the living room where she found Carr trying to put his son to sleep.

Before Carr could tell her to not step in, his son caught sight of her and jumped back up. He giggled as he stuck his chubby hands out to her. "Jessie!"

"Connor!"

Jess laughed as she sat beside him on the sofa. "I was gonna tell you to just wait for five minutes but he saw you now."

"I thought Britt has him today?"

Carr rolled his eyes. Jess leaned closer to him, poking Connor's nose. Connor smiled tiredly before pushing out of Carr's arm. Jessica carefully pulled him onto her lap. "She's gone on a holiday with her fiancé apparently. When I told her she can't just dump that news on me, she turned around and made it out as though I didn't want him to stay with me. But you know I would never think that."

"Of course. You love him to bits."

"I do. And I regret not being there for him in the first few months of his life but I would never abandon my son again. I had to make arrangements, had to call my mum and sister, see who was free and who wasn't." Carr shook his head and laughed bitterly. "I don't even think she wants him anymore. Not that I mind, I want Connor with me all the time instead of begging on my knees just to spend time with him."

Jess nodded her head. She looked down at Connor and stood up. "I'll put him down on your bed, make sure he's asleep properly and then we can clean this mess up."

He smiled. He watched her go and sighed. How he desperately wanted to pull her into a tight hug and tell her how much he loved her. But Jessica had made it clear she didn't want kids and he knew that although she loved Connor, he would be baggage. He wanted his son in his life so if that meant letting go of the woman he loved then he was prepared to do so.

After cleaning up his toys, he walked into the bedroom to find Jessica talking to a sleeping Connor. With a smile, he leaned against the doorframe, waiting for her to notice him.

"And then King Connor got married to the beautiful lady. He watched her come down the aisle and thought to himself, 'I'm so lucky' and they got married, had a party and then the end."

"I think he's a little too young to get married," he said with a chuckle. Jessica looked up at him and frowned before getting off the bed. "Now why do you look so upset?"

"Because you ruined story time."

Carr rolled his eyes as they both walked out, leaving the door open. He glanced back at his son and smiled. "What's up, Jess?"

"Nothing." He watched her scratch behind her ear. His gaze settled on the beauty spot on her neck and he sighed. It was only when Jessica pointed it out did he notice and now all he wanted to do was kiss her toffee coloured skin as he held her in his arms.

"I know you."

"Fine. I came to talk to you about something." They both sat on the sofa, facing each other. "You know how I said I never wanted children, like ever?" He nodded his head stiffly. "It's...it's only because I can't..." His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her.