Darling

Chapter 16 - My decision

“Your liver is weakening faster than we thought.” Just perfect. I was sitting with dad in the doctor’s office. Every time mum came, I would end up sitting by myself while she went and cried in the hall. I sighed, that’s what the pain was.

My skin had a yellow complexion, my hair was weaker and my nails wouldn’t grow and had a smokers tinge to them. I spent my days throwing up over the toilet, or fiddling with the duvet because of my frequent temperate.

My body weight has dropped tremendously and I wear a size ten clothes. Not ten in women’s size, tens in a child. I slept near enough eighteen hours a day. One time I slept for two days straight. The pain was constant, I got used to the ache it’s when I got the shooting pains; that’s when it hurt.

My mum let’s Carlisle stay over whenever, she doesn’t mind. Partly because he helps me if I throw up in the middle of the night, or makes sure I am still breathing. I don’t care about myself, it’s the people around me I’m hurting.

Christmas has come and gone, New Years was in a couple of days. I’ve been dismissed from school, the walk through the hallway was traumatizing. I remember like it was yesterday.

** Flashback **

Pulling into the parking lot, I was shaking. I told mum and dad to go to work, they need to focus on their lives. I can’t have them losing the house and starving because of me. I, of course told dad to stay off the construction site. I don’t want him having an accident.

Once again I was with Carlisle, he was great. I’ve only been out of hospital for a week, and already I hated being home. Everyone was running around for me. I hated it.

Sighing, we climbed out of the car. Carlisle kissed me lightly before we went in. We had the papers from the doctors and now I just need to be able to leave.

The head teacher, Brian, was so nice. He told me how everyone will miss me, and how he wishes me the best. Even though that will never happen. He handed me a thick envelope, probably cards I thought to myself as he kissed my cheek and let us go. The bell rung as we stood up, signalling break. I wanted to avoid this.

“Can we go or do you need to get anything?” Carlisle asked as I looked into the now filling halls with fear. “I need to collect my things from my locker. Can we wait till break is over?” He nodded and hugged me.

The reception door was swung open, breaking the silence of reception. Ali ran in, and Mr Sayer followed behind. He’s still a teacher? Ali ran up to me and pulled me into a hug. I haven’t seen her, she’s been at school then when she went to see me I normally was asleep. I felt horrible.

Even Mr Sayer-Jack brought me into a bear hug, which of course made Carlisle instantly jealous as he pulled me away from him. We all just laughed, Carlisle was not amused. He showed that by wrapping his arms around me and holding me close, caging me.

Ali, looked sad and scared slightly. “Ali what is it?” Her and Jack exchanged a doubting look. “I didn't tell anyone, I swear. Someone saw you enter the cancer unit and then leave. That person also overheard the conversation between your parents and the doctors. Everyone knows Baby. I guess you don’t know how many people care. Come with us.” Carlisle squeezed me before letting me go.