purity //myg

XXIII

Namjoon stood frozen in front of me, eyes wide open as he starred at me in disbelief. The news had been somewhat shocking to him, though I don't know exactly why.

He opened his mouth to speak but at first no words came out of it. I watched him take his whole plump, upper lip into his mouth, then releasing it, making a 'p' sound to be heard. "So you like my cousin? Again?"

I nervously bent my head down and played with my fingers, a move that usually calmed me down. "When did I stop liking her?"

Namjoon nodded his head slowly but then stopped abruptly as if he remembered of something that bothered him.

"I though you said you did?" He raised his eyebrow at me. "Did you lie to me?"

A silly smirk formed on his face as he starred into my eyes, trying to see whether I'd tell him the truth or not. My best friend was an atheist you see, and he always considered me following my religion's rules somewhat too much.

"No! Um well...ah y-yes, you see I d-decided I didn't want you to know because you seemed uncomfortable knowing I liked her." I stuttered at first but then managed to speak what I had in my mind.

"So you've been having a crush on her since then, three years ago?" He asked surprised.

Namjoon never had a stable relationship for more than six months and he had never had such a crush on a girl. Usually, when he liked someone it was only for a couple of weeks until he'd make a move. If the girl rejected him, he didn't give a damn, he moved on to the next one.

But I was too deep in love with Arianna and she was the first girl to ever make me feel that way. The need to be good for her grew in me bigger and bigger during these years of admiring her from afar. Now it wasn't just a desire; was a goal I had set and I was determined to achieve it.

"I'm gonna tell her." I announced.

Namjoon's face lit up instantly at the heard of that last one. "Dude! You serious?" He laughed.

I shook my head 'yes' and turned to look away, specifically out of my room's window. I watched as drops of rain hit the glass separating indoors from outdoors, the trees outside shaking violently from the blowing wind, taking their last leaves away.

"Yes. I'm done moving slowly. It's been three months since I started hanging out with her and we have bonded with each other a lot. I know three months aren't much but they're only numbers, aren't they?"

"Totally man, but do not underestimate numbers. Don't forget that those three months of you hanging out with her are not even compared to the three years you've been crushing on her." Namjoon ranted.

I turned my head towards his direction to face him out of pure shock because of the twist of the events. I didn't expect him to support me as he had always been protective of his cousin.

Namjoon scooted closer to me and I felt the weight of his hand on my shoulder as he squeezed it, encouraging me. "I think you should tell her asap, hyung."

"Will do so. I'm gonna ask her out, on a date and I'll probably confess then." I smiled at his effort to stand by me.

Truth is, I had imagined of the day I'd confess to Arianna a lot of times, I wasn't planning to do so but I just liked imagining it. I'm not a romantic type of guy, though Arianna wakes up a romanticism in me every time I'm around her, but I had thought of different versions of that day, some of them including confessing during school prom or on a date by the river.

I opened my mouth to add something but then my phone buzzed in my pocket, signaling I got a text. I fished the device out and opened it.

(A/n: these are the names of the contacts as yoongi has them saved as and not as arianna's)

Princess: can we meet please? i need to talk to you

GeniusYoongi: sure, come to my place?

Princess: k, be there in a sec

I knew Arianna wouldn't be here in just a second if she was at her home previously but I guess she was already on the road.

"Who was that?" I heard Namjoon ask.

"Arianna." I responded. "She said she needed to see me."

Namjoon instantly shot up from my bed and grabbed his raincoat that was hanging on my desk's chair, his keys clinging in its pockets.

"That's my cue to leave then! I'll see you later bro, don't worry, you've got this!" He gave me a thumbs up as he walked backwards out of my room, causing me to blush and laugh.

I was a bit nervous about it. What did she want to talk about anyways?

♛ ♛ ♛

"HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!"

"THIS IS A DISGRACE TO OUR FAMILY!"

"NO! I WILL NEVER ALLOW THAT IN THIS HOUSE!"

I listened to my father yelling at my mother and her trying to calm him down, reasoning a thousand things but not managing to make the situation the least bit better. They were fighting and it was for no other reason than me.

It was all my fault. I should've kept my mouth shut, I should've have told him. I knew my father wouldn't like knowing this truth, he never believed things could turn out like that.

He never imagined of his one and only daughter to not share the same love with him for his god.

"WHY CAN'T SHE DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!? WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!?"

It hurts to listen to him cross the line from outside the four walls that surround me in my room. I can't do anything but cry anxiously on my bed, the guilt of being the reason they're fighting id way too heavy for me.

In all of a sudden, my dad storms in my room, my mother running behind him.

"Leave her alone!"

He grabs me by my hair, pulling hard as I scream in pain. I get up from the bed and follow him downstairs where he makes me kneel down in front of a cross.

"Pray!" He orders me, his voice shaking as a couple of tears are streaming down his cheeks. "Pray Ariadne, so that the Lord forgives you!"

I cry and cry harder and my mother doesn't stop hitting his back, telling him to let me go. "NO!" I shout and next thing I feel is his heavy hand across my face.

I fall on the floor and bring my hand on my burning cheek. They keep on yelling at each other but it's as if I have gone deaf; I am not able to focus on hearing anything they say.

I quickly stand up and run upstairs again, to my bedroom,this time locking the door behind me. I cup my head and close my eyes, taking deep breaths as I stand there in the middle of the room, trying to calm myself down.

"FUCK YOU!" I yell out of pressure and I kick the furniture closer to me.

I rush to my wardrobe and take out a backpack big enough to fill with some clothes, my pjs, underwear and other things that I need. Out of my purse I grab some money and stuff it in my jeans pocket.

I'm wearing my jacket and climb out of my window and on a tree from outside that I use to get my feet back on the ground.

I get my phone out of my bag and text Yoongi, asking him if we can meet because I really do need to talk to him before finding a hotel to spend the night. He replies right away and tells me to go over there.

And just like that, I fucking run away.