purity //myg

XXI

I pick at my food before finally taking a bite out of it. The atmosphere feels so uncomfortable on the family dinner. Yes, dad has returned home and he is sitting right across from me while mum is sitting on my right and my five year old brother on my left.

Our spoons and forks meeting our plates along with the sound of the kitchen clock ticking are the only sounds heard as we eat in silence.

As I've mentioned before, my dad's a doctor and as a member of Doctors Without Borders, he had been working voluntarily in Africa for about five months now. I can't really tell if I'm happy to see him again.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like my dad, I love him. But he's always been too much of a religious person and being open-minded enough to accept homosexuality or atheism wasn't ever exactly his thing.

Since the last two with three years, so much have changed in me. My reputation, my personal beliefs, my character, everything, including me reaching the point of not believing in his god, who used to be mine as well. He doesn't know that and I really don't know how he's going to react when he founds out.

'Cause I'm pretty sure he will find out soon enough.

It's a miracle I didn't get exposed earlier, when he asked me to lead our family pray before dinner. Mum had came to the rescue, insisting that it was best for him to be the one leading it since we hadn't heard it from him in a long time.

I jump at the sound of the phone ringing, interrupting my thoughts. Mum's ready to stand up and go answer the call but her husband motions her otherwise.

I can't take the tension i feel between me and my dad, who's glares I've been feeling on me the whole lot of ten minutes that we've been eating slowly. I set my fork down and grab my plate.

"Ariadne, sit down." Dad orders me to do when I'm about to stand up. I obey and set my plate down again, then plop back on my seat. "I need you to sleep early tonight." He smiles faintly.

I dart a glare to the clock, only to see it's just 10 pm. "Why's that for, dad?" I ask, slightly titling my head left.

He copies my previous moves of releasing the grip on his fork and spoon. "Tomorrow we are all going to church together." He states.

"Do we have to? I have an assignment to work on and it's really important-" I bravely lie to my own father.

"Church is important too. Don't you want God's blessing for your assignment?" He cuts me off to support his opinion.

That gets straight on my nerves and I start to grow irritated enough to insist. However I choose to use my sarcasm as an effort of joking.

"I only need my teacher's blessing." I mumble.

Dad sighs and shakes his head negatively before looking at me with an educative look in his eyes. "Ariadne, no human being is superior to God, don't you remember that?"

"Of course." I scoff, feeling my blood boil. "How could I forget? We're completely useless, aren't we? God is the one behind everything, we're just his chessmen."

What can I say. I might not be good in French but at least I speak sarcasm fluently.

I hit my fist on the table before getting up and violently throw my plate in the washing machine.