Danger Magellan's Invasion of Earth

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"I should have told you how repressive Martian society was before we came," Danger said once all of us were safely in the hotel room that he had booked for us. "I thought your society was backwards, but Mars is way worse. Any political beliefs that the government doesn't like are banned, women are discouraged from doing anything outside of the home, green-skinned Martians live in segregated communities, and homosexuality is illegal. It's honestly insane."

"Why did you take us here then?" Arthur asked.

Danger shrugged. "It's better than your Moon, isn't it?" he said.

"I disagree," Arthur said. "I'd much rather be on the moon right now. If my theory is right, that would make me the first person to go there, because the government faked all of the Apollo moon missions."

"First of all, the moon landing was not faked," Danger said. "Second, even if it was, you would only be the first Earthling to go there. I went there two months ago, and it is a barren wasteland that is definitely not worth the trip."

"I'd like to at least see it for myself," Arthur said.

"Trust me, there are a lot of other moons out there, even in your own system, that are more interesting than Earth's," Danger said.

"This spacesuit is starting to get really stuffy," I commented. "Also, I'm starving."

"Me too," Raquel said.

Danger went over to something that looked like a thermostat and played with it for a few minutes. "There we go," he said. "The oxygen and heating is now on in this room. You can all take off your spacesuits. I'll order some food for everyone." All of us took off our spaceships and took a deep breath. I still couldn't walk around without bouncing, but Danger's adjustments made the hotel room feel a lot more like home. Arthur reached inside his bag and put on his "Alien Hunter" hat, while Danger reached towards the phone, dialed a number, and started speaking rapidly in Bluespeech. "I just called a local fast food restaurant," Danger explained in English when he got off the phone. "They'll deliver our food to us in a few minutes. Arthur, I love that hat on you."

"Thanks," Arthur said. He leaned over to kiss Danger, but Raquel interrupted them.

"Danger, you probably shouldn't have destroyed those Martian ships when we were landing," she said, and I couldn't help but agree with her. So far, it was a miracle that Danger hadn't gotten us killed during this trip.

"They deserved it," Danger said.

"They weren't attacking us!" Raquel exclaimed.

"So?" Danger said. "I had my fun."

"It's not fun to randomly kill innocent people, Danger," Raquel said. "Also, how do you know all of these languages?"

"I learned them in school," Danger said. "Everyone I know back home speaks at least four languages. I happen to know five."

"Really?" I said.

"Ha-le, dwiha fyo Cynbellique, miath frodor imasuic..." Danger said.

"Yes, I know Cynbellic, my native language," Blaze translated.

"Sylfae Kihoni, ith masnah gengoi y Kihoni..." Danger continued.

"Green Basic, the trade language of the Greens..." Blaze translated again.

"Hyacispraak, die lingua di comme van Hyacis..."

"Bluespeech, the trade language of the Blues..."

"Haung Gonton Yuku, be-angtse merkitza de maoyi kuntza Yuku..."

"Yellow Common Language, the trade language of the Yellows..."