I had walked with Sarah to her house after we talked at the pier. The whole way, my left hand was in her right and she was smiling. I was smiling as well, but it was more of a forced smile than anything. My mind kept bringing up Lindsey. Her face, her hair, her eyes, her voice, every little thing about her.
Sarah had decided not to even chance a small peck on the lips when we reached her house, which I was glad for. Right now, the last thing I wanted to do was screw up everything even more. There was no doubt in my mind that Sarah thought I loved her back, and in a way, I did. But, it wasn't the same way she loved me. And I wasn't sure it ever would be.
The closer I got home, the slower I walked until I could finally see it up ahead. I stopped, just staring into the distance at the two familiar houses and the car in the driveway. Lindsey was home, but I wasn't nearly as happy as I should have been. There was a fear residing in my mind. The fear that Lindsey would be mad at me when I told her what happened.
And I would tell her. Unlike with Sarah who would bug me to get it out of me, Lindsey wouldn't pry. Instead, I just couldn't bring myself to keep anything from her. It was like when I was talking to her, everything just came out on its own without any control. And so far, she had been completely supportive of everything.
But this was different. Much different.
Lindsey had told me just a few days ago that she had feelings for me, liked me. And for the past few days, Sarah and I hadn't talked. Now, we had just kissed. Not just once, but twice. In a way I felt angry at myself for it, but not because of the fear that Lindsey would be mad, but because I had wanted my first real kiss to be with Lindsey, not Sarah. I didn't count what happened between me and Jason.
Finally, I started walking again, faster than normal. Instead of walking into my house, I walked up to Lindsey's door and knocked. Footsteps approached and then the door opened. In front of me stood a girl with black hair to her shoulders that was straighter than a toothpick. Her greenish-blue eyes stared at me for a moment before she spoke. "You're Casey, right?"
I nodded and thought for a moment. My heart had sunk as soon as I seen her. Was she Lindsey's girlfriend or something. "Yea. And you're...?"
"Amber. Lindsey's cousin. Speaking of Lindsey, she's in the backyard. I was just getting us some drinks. I'll get you one," she replied and turned around, walking back into the kitchen.
I let out a small sigh of relief. She was just Lindsey's cousin, which meant Lindsey wasn't taken. Yet. Walking in, I shut the door behind me and made my way down the hall and out the back door. Lindsey looked up at me and then jumped up, running across the yard towards me. When she reached me, she nearly knocked me down in a huge hug while shouting, "Casey!"
"Nice to see you, too," I replied, hugging her back. "You didn't tell me you were bringing your cousin back with you."
Lindsey let go and stepped back, smiling at me. "I hadn't planned on bringing her back, but some things have happened and she's gonna be staying with us for a while. She starts school with us when we go back next week. For now, she's staying in our spare bedroom," said Lindsey.
The door opened again and Amber walked out, three drinks in her hands and a bag of M&M's. Each of us took one of the drinks and sat down in the grass in the back corner of the yard. A small breeze was blowing by which sent chills up my spine now and then. The sun was still out, but it was cooling off fast. And the approaching storm was just a little ways away, helping to push cold air into the city. "Here, use my jacket," said Amber, handing me a gray hoodie which I quickly put on,
"Thanks."
"No problem. Can't have you freezing to death or catching a cold or something," she replied with a smile.
I smiled back, a weird feeling swirling in my stomach for just a second before disappearing. Ignoring it, I took a few M&M's and a drink of my soda. Amber and Lindsey talked and I listened, adding something now and then. But my mind was being distracted by what had happened between me and Sarah. I had hoped to tell Lindsey as soon as I could, but I wasn't going to with Amber here. "Casey?"
"Huh?" I said, looking over at Lindsey.
"You ok?"
"Yea, I'm fine. Just thinking," I replied.
Lindsey stood up and looked down at Amber. "Amber, can you excuse me and Casey for a little. We'll be right back."
Amber nodded and smiled. "Sure. Take your time."
I stood up and followed Lindsey back into the house and up the stairs to her room, where she shut the door behind us. Again, I walked over and sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the wall. As she sat down on my right, I sighed. "There's something I need to tell you. I understand if your mad or anything, but I just can't keep it a secret from you," I said, looking over at her.
"I won't get mad. I promise. Whatever it is, I won't get upset or anything, ok?" she replied with a smile.
I smiled back and too a deep breath. "Sarah called me earlier and wanted to meet me down by the pier, so I went. When she got there we talked a little bit and said sorry about everything that's happened, and then," I paused, butterflies flying in my stomach. "she kissed me. And I kinda, kissed back," I finished, trailing off.
Lindsey was silent for a few moments, no doubt a little shocked at what I had just told her. But, finally, she spoke, her voice a little sad. "So, you and her are together now?"
"No, we're still just friends. I mean, I know how she feels about me, and I do love her back, but not the same way she loves me or anything. But, I think she might think I do, after what's happened," I answered, looking down at the floor.
An arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me close. The warmth of Lindsey's body quickly melted through the cloth of the hoodie and sank into my skin. It felt nice, like it was meant to be this way. Just as she was about to say something, a voice rang up the stairs. "Lindsey, someone's at the door."
Both Lindsey and I looked at each other, puzzled. Who could be at the door now? Lindsey's mom was over at my house talking with Mom so it was just us three. Standing up, we walked downstairs. When the front door was in sight, I froze. The last person I had thought to see was standing there, staring right at me.
Daniel.
