Serendipity ↬ COMPLETE

Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Introducing Leilani

It's funny when you think that you have everything under control, and then life decides to throw a massive curve ball that you can't seem to deflect. Instead, the curve ball smacks you in the face and knocks you flat on your butt, unconscious and gone to the world.

To have everything you could ever want, before life knocks you down and makes you start all over again. You get frustrated and think about giving up.

Don't.

Don't give up anything, just because life threw that curve ball; shut that door.

It isn't hard to get back up and try again. Maybe not the exact same way as you did before, because a different approach would be best.

That's how I felt once. I got some bad news when I was 10 and ever since, my life has been nothing but curve ball after curve ball. And yet, I'm still here and I haven't given up.

Sometimes, I think about giving up, but then I think back to what I have accomplished in the last 7 years, and then, I don't want to.

At 10 years old, I was diagnosed with a Panic disorder, which means I get frequent panic attacks. Sometimes, they happen out of the blue, but a majority of the time, something has to trigger the attacks.

Because of my Panic disorder, I have a Nightmare disorder, too, which is repeated awakenings from a major sleep period or naps with detailed recall of extended and extremely frightening dreams, usually involving threats to survival, security, or self-esteem.

I have nightmares about anything really. Any scary thought that I have comes to life in my dreams.

I have two disorders that I struggle with everyday, and I want to give up 99.9 percent of the time.

But I have things that make my disorders less of a nuisance to me.

Reading. I love to read books and novels. I have thousands of books now and I've read almost all of them. Reading books and novels, and even poems, puts me in an alternate universe or world. I can see the details, feel the atmosphere around me. And it puts me in a calm state of mind.

Music. Listening to music calms my nerves. It relaxes every nerve and muscle in my body. I can easily say that I listen to all different genres of music, except for rap (excluding maybe 2 or 3 songs that I DO like), screamo, and heavy metal. I listen to country, pop, R&B, gospel, rock, old rock, old country, and anything that sounds good to me. Music is my entire life. It makes me forget about my disorders.

Family. My family keeps me grounded and sane. They make everything comfortable and easy for me to live. My mom takes care of my attacks and nightmares. And my dad teaches me everything I need to know about how to take care of myself when I'm on my own. He teaches me how to defend myself, how to fix my own vehicles, and all that good stuff that a man can do.

Writing. I love to get out all of my ideas and creativity. I enjoy putting them into words and phrases. Detailed descriptions that paint images into someone's head. Actually, I don't want to just paint images into a readers head; I want to be able to use specificity to the point that the reader gets lost in my story, in my words, in my descriptions. That's the kind of writer I want to be.

Tucker. My dog. My puppy. My loyal best friend. He's only almost one year old in human years, making him 7 in dog years. I love him to pieces. I got him for my 17th birthday and I almost died. I can talk to Tucker about everything, and what's even better is that he never interrupts me or judges me. He's truely a girl's best friend.

And lastly, Alexis. My human best friend. She's truely amazing and I miss her. In the middle of our sophomore year of high school, she had to move and it killed me. I miss her so much that my head hurts when I think about her. She's protected me through so much. She's stuck by my side through everything. We've gotten into a lot of fights and arguments, but we always ended up calming down and talking out the issue. And that's why I love her. She doesn't push me away when things get rough and hard to handle.

I can't do it without them. I wouldn't have survived.

I always thought that if I didn't have my disorders, my life would be so much different. Maybe I would be a little more popular. Maybe I would have all sorts of boys falling at my feet. My life would be perfect.

But if that was my life, I might have never become friends with Alexis. I may not have been so into my music and reading my books. Maybe I wouldn't have had the great grades that I had in high school and I wouldn't be able to go to University of Central Florida in Orlando after summer vacation.

My parents, Tucker and I moved to Orlando from a little town in Florida called Williston after my graduation. I would live with my parents while I went to college. So they can help me transition into a bigger campus environment and be able to handle my disorders on my own.

I want to get a job, once I get a truck, because I WILL be getting a truck, and I know my way around Orlando, which should take a week.

I just want my life to start out brand new. I turn 18 in a few short weeks and I can't wait. I'll be 18 and Tucker will be 1 year (7 dog years).

I actually can't wait to really start my life in Orlando. I'm hoping to make some friends and have a great summer. I want to find someone to do things with. I want someone that I can call my best friend. Someone that I can tell all of my secrets to, someone other than Tucker, who already knows all of my secrets.

Well, that's me. And that's my background. See ya 'round.

Author's note: A picture of Leilani is on the side here!!!!! -------->>>