Rant Book

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay, so before i even get into this please note ive probably had about ten total minutes of sleep since monday, so this probably will be all over the place, but here we go

this week has just been complete shit. i found out im going to basically lose all my friends and go to a new school to start probably the most important part of my childhood in a completely new and unfamiliar place.and then come to find out that Donald Fucking Trump has banned transgendered people from joining the army because were too much work and cost to much! Fucking hell, i dont even know why im so mad, i never planned on joining the military.i guess its just because im so damn caring and know there are people out there that have wanted to join the military for as long as they can remember but are now banned because our fucking dumb ass president thinks that we are lesser than he.NEWS FLASH were not. were all people. we all know whats its like to love, to hurt and every other fucking emotion we can feel we all have dreams that you may be blocking because youre too self centered to realize that your not the only person that matters. im... i just dont eve know why im getting so worked up. really. its not even my place.im just some dumb teenager who doesnt know anything anyways. Oh, and another thing. my friends are the best thing that has ever happened to me and i have to sit here and hear about how theyre scared to be themselves around their parents because theyre afraid that theyll get hurt or dis owned or something similar. it fucking breaks my heart to see the people i care about get hurt. it does. and here i am crying for the third time tonight because i care to much. and im just a kid. i shouldnt be having these feelings. im just a kid and its hard growing up. its hard and know one understands. people say that teenagers dont know what theyre talking about, but we seem to now something everyone else forgets  BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS AND COMMON SENSE. i hate that everyone just assumes they know you and that they know more about you than you know you. it fucking sucks because i had to grow up scared to breath in the wrong direction and i had to be the adult in the house when i was ten and i needed someone to turn to but there never was. thats why i bother my friends so often because i live by one sentence and one sentence only "be who you needed growing up" because i know there are people who need someone to talk to and i want to be there for them, but i dont want to bother them so i back off. i get dubbed the parent of my groups because that. growing up i wanted someone to tell me when i messed up. not make it feel like i did because i dont love them. i needed someones unyielding support, whether they agreed with me or not. not someone who took every thing i seemed mildly interested in and make it seem like i was a bad person for liking it. i grew up in a house where my mom was always sick or sleeping and a male who did everything in his power to make me his slave and control everything i even thought about. i learned to apologize for thinking for/ about myself and to put everyone else in front of me because i dont matter. i dont know whose gonna read this, if anyone, but ill make one thing clear. DO.NOT. PITY. ME. i hate that feeling. like your some sick animal that cant defend itself and i dont need that. im sorry to anyone whose been messaging me that i havent known since i was younger. i really am. i just have so much on my plate right now im to stressed for my age and theres nothing no one can do. i probably wont even publish this. it was just supposed to be about the military thing... sorry