Rant Book

whaddup y'all

So, long time since ive even been on wattpad. And lemme tell you. My life is a complete fucking hellhole with a flaming cherry on top. Im done. Im done with Jon being an asshole. Im done with everything being my fault. Im done fucking hiding who I AM just because my being unhappy makes you so fucking uncomfortable. I soo sorry that my mom is more important to me. Im sorry i have separation axiety because i dont know if shes gonna be there when i get home because my general anxiety is kicking up all kinds of 'what if's inside my head. You like to throw the whole "well what would you do if your daughter was like this around you?" thing in my face. Well, i have three things for you a) my children will never be like this towards me because i will never justify grounding them because they are unhappy in my home and around the people i surround myself with. B) if they did, however, i would take a moment and think "hey, maybe their FUCKING MENTAL STATE is more improtant than my pride" and let them go. And finally, C) I'm your daughter now? After how many fucking times ive told you its they/them. Im agender. I dont identify with either. You dont give two shits. You act all high and mighty because the fucking broken court system placed me with you. Because to everyone beside a handful of people im nothing more than a dumb kid, or a ploy to make someone miserable or to benifit you somehow. Because you only see me as a thing to be controlled than a living, breathing person with thoughts and opinions. A person who has shown, time and time again, that i dont just blindly follow other peoples beliefs. That I take a look at how you treat the people i care about. Because i dont give two shits how you treat me, but the way you treat my family is unac-fucking-ceptable. You cant even show the slightest bit of respect towards me, so why in the ever loving fuck do you expect me to fucking worship the ground you work on. But, no, the last straw is when i clearly use they/them to talk about someone i respect to the fullest extent, you find it perfectly okay to lecture me on how thats stupid and they/them doesn't make sense, their not multiple people. He even tried using that it doesnt work grammatically, like they/them pronouns have never been used in a sentance before. But, you- a person who has no knowledge of the lgbtqia- must know wayyy more than me-a person who literally co-started a fucking saga at my school- im sorry. Forgive me, your highness.

Kind of a tangent, but also my reason for starting my rant that i never actually got to. I have to sit here and see my family go through some of the hardest times because you thought it would be fun to see if you could force me to live with you. I cant even text them to see how theyre doing because i can only be on my phone when i can hide it from you proficiently. Hell, i didnt even know that two of my friends broke up this is getting so bad. I know you think im still Kaitlyn. But Im not. Kaitlyn is scared of their own shadow. They made friends, but couldnt bring them home because they werent born correctly and has always known, even if they didnt realize what that feeling ment for a long time, and always felt punished for it. They read to escape you. I am Ty. I am confident in my skin. I am protective and nurturing. I read because I want to, not because it helps me escape a life i hate. Because, up until recently, i loved my life. I had friends i trust and would literally die for. High school was going better than i had thought at the beginning. I felt needed, wanted. And then you had to ruin it. Because me being happy without you made you so upset you decided your pride and happiness was more important than mine.