Home Sweet Home (REVISED)

Chapter 21

As Tommy woke up the next morning, he felt a terrible headache coming in. Looking around, he realized that he had fallen asleep on Vince's couch last night. He tried to remember what happened while they were drunk the night before, but it was all blurry. "Ohh...", he groaned, sitting up in the couch, holding his hand against his hurting head. Tommy wasn't the only one with a hangover. Nikki had woken up some minutes ago, and his head hurt even more than Tommy's, even though he couldn't remember the scene with the bottle. "What the hell happened last night?", Tommy asked, getting a simple shrug back from Nikki, who was too worn out to respond in any other way. Looking towards the kitchen, they saw Vince coming out. "Am I the only one who doesn't remember anything?", he yawned, rubbing his eyes. Tommy shook his head. "I knew we should have waited some years before we started drinking", Vince stated, scratching his head, feeling the hangover coming in. Nikki had been sitting there thinking for a while, and stuff had started coming back to him. "Tommy, I have to talk to you", he said, grabbing Tommy's arm, "In private". Vince just shrugged and went to get his toothbrush, as Nikki dragged Tommy into the nearest room with a lockable door. "Tommy, I started remembering stuff from last night", Nikki said as he closed the door behind them. "What? Tell me!", Tommy replied excitedly, sitting down on the bed behind him. Apparently, they were in one of Vince's bedrooms or something. Nikki hesitated. "Uh... I don't remember exactly what happened, but I thing I made out with Vince", he mumbled. "What!?", Tommy exclaimed, freaking out. Maybe dating Nikki wasn't his best idea so far. "But only because you told me to!", Nikki went on. Tommy smacked his forehead. God, it was all coming back to him now. "Geez, I remember that", Tommy mumbled, "Fuck..." Nikki looked down at the floor, then back at Tommy, who was pretty ashamed of himself right now. Thoughts were swirling inside of Tommy's head. He knew it. He wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to start dating anyone. He just couldn't do it, and they were still so young anyway, too young to be able to even feel those feelings. At least that's what Tommy thought. He couldn't do it anymore. "I just hope that Vince or Mick won't remember it", Nikki said, "Because then they might find out about us, and we don't want that, right?" Tommy shook his head. "I guess not...", he mumbled. Nikki sat down next to him on the bed. "What're you thinking?", he asked. Tommy just shrugged, and slowly moved his gaze over to Nikki. "Maybe... Maybe we shouldn't be together anymore...", he mumbled, looking back down. Nikki's expression turned from curious to shocked in a matter of seconds. "W-what..?", he stuttered, "Take that back... You, you don't know what you're saying..." Tears welled up in his eyes as he stared at Tommy, who was just sitting there looking at the orange carpet on the floor. "Nikki... Just listen, OK?", Tommy said, looking back up at him, "I think we're making a mistake doing this... I mean, we're still really young, and I'm not even sure if this is the right way for me to go". Tears were starting to run down Nikki's cheeks. Tommy reached out to dry them off, but Nikki only pushed him away. Tommy sighed. "Nikki, don't cry", he said, kind of wanting to hug him, but he knew that it would only make him miss him even more, "We can still be friends, right?" Friends. That was exactly what Nikki didn't want to hear. "Sure", Nikki mumbled, even though he wanted more than just that. His voice had gotten all shaky. Tommy looked over at Nikki. His makeup, which he had been wearing since they got home from camp, was running down his cheeks. "I'm sorry", Tommy said, even though he knew that it was no comfort in it. Nikki didn't respond, he just looked away. "I really am", Tommy continued, "I didn't want it to end this way, but I'm still trying to figure things out, you know". He looked down at the floor again, not very proud of what he was about to say. "So I think we should keep it a secret". Nikki turned to him, with tears still running down his face. "Just pretend that it never happened?", he sobbed, "Do you really want to just forget about this? Should we never even mention it? As if we never kissed in the library, and you told me that you wanted us to be together forever?" Tommy nodded slightly, feeling the sadness welling up in him as he heard how badly Nikki was taking it. "Fine", Nikki said, "Then I won't tell anyone, if that makes you happy". Tommy understood that Nikki was mad, but he knew that Nikki was also insecure when it came to things like this. "Thanks", he whispered back. It was going to be hard, but in the end they wouldn't regret breaking up. They both needed time to think, think about what they were doing with their lives. Especially now that they were starting a band, because in a band there couldn't be tons of drama and relationships going back and forth. "So I guess this is it then?", Nikki asked and got up, walking towards the door. "Yeah...", Tommy answered, watching as Nikki opened the door and walked out, slamming it behind him.

Upset, confused and broken didn't even come close to how they both were feeling at this time. Even though he wanted it to last, Nikki knew that Tommy was right: they were too young, and still had to figure things out for themselves. They had decided to just be friends, and that was how it was going to stay. But then, who knows what tomorrow could bring?