Adopted by NatePat

Bleeding Out

I remembered very clearly of how everything happened...
My past, my present, even the future...
I knew where I was going. I knew this is where I had to belong... The forest was my only hope now, right?

To belong with my own kind... To run free... No humans, no limits... I could choose pack life or the loner life, I could finally belong somewhere.

I felt like an outcast wherever I went...
I always longed for a place to belong... A place to fit in... A place where nobody would call me, "Wolf Girl!" And laugh...
Erm, nobody really called me that... Yet. Nobody knew who I truly was...

The ones who did got taken away from me by the humans. The humans have no idea who I am, either.

I would never reveal to anyone except my own kind of who I was... My own, true kind would know who I was before I even explained. Oh, how I longed for not being misunderstood.

A familiar tune came into my ears from my headphones... This was one of my favorite songs... I had made it my theme. It just seemed right... I don't know why, but it did. This music piece was created by one of my favorite bands..

The music playing was called: "Paradise by Coldplay."

I could just feel the rythm of the music and the beat that was played within my soul... In my heart, this just felt right... This song gave me so much emotion and energy, I felt like I could run for days... ...But why? I felt like this song had so much purpose in my life, but I didn't know why.

I started to have flashbacks about the past, and I clutched my left arm while tears flowed down my cheek.

I felt like screaming.
I felt like I was being buried alive.
I felt like I was sinking.
These flashbacks brought me pain.

I began running through the rain again. I felt like with each beat of my foot, I was leaping. This song made me emotional to the point of wanting to run away from it all... Run away from reality...

But somehow I knew, my reality was going to change.
My reality was going to become not just reality, but a painful truth.
...Like a dream or a vision, my reality would have meaning. I would see things that every human wouldn't see...

I knew there was much more to this planet than meets the eye. "What is essential is not visible to the eye." I had learned that from a small little fox in the story of: "The Little Prince."

Once I had gotten that book, I had read it within a day. I always wanted to read that book, so once I got it, that was everything... My world, my reality, that story consumed me.
And I let it consume away... For, if I could get away from the world I am  living in, the demons I am battling, the voices of who I'm trying to shut out of my head... It would be worth it.

Of course, if I had friends, I could've been away from this world within an instant. I wouldn't be lonely... I wouldn't have to search for my purpose... Because my purpose would be right there.

With my friends.

I longed for eternal friendship and loyalty....

But thanks to the humans, I would never have that again...

Thanks to the humans, I became anti-social... I developed social anxiety... I developed depression... (I mean, I already was Bipolar, but the humans helped that a lot.) I don't blame the humans, though. I know it may seem like it, but I don't.

I thank the humans, actually. I thank them for the skills that I've gotten from these problems of mine. They actually help... Rarely.

...I don't seek attention, heck, I hate attention! I'm an introvert. I don't like attention, and I can't spend a long time with people even if I tried.

...So I don't.
I stay my secretive, loner self....
But those problems of mine, they do not define me. My past built who I am today, my present helps improve me, and the future only holds more lessons that I need to learn.

But despite all of those things, I actually have some good traits...
Some.. I think..
I'm adventurous. I always seek out a good adventure and I am willing to go on any adventure that I'm given. It's fun.
I have natural leadership skills, for, when the time comes necessary, I can lead the group to victory. ...If I actually think the group deserves it... I mean, if they have good intentions, of course! ...If I had a group of friends, I would instantly take the lead.

I am made of valor.
In any case, I will hold great bravery in battle. For I know what needs to be done, and I will continue to be the pacifist that I am. Battling has never scared me... The truth is, the outcome is what scares me. Who gets hurt? Who is alive? Who is well? Who will die?

I have a lot of perseverance, as well.
I will do anything to achieve my goal, and if something holds in the way of that, I will continue to still work through it. I will achieve my goal, even if it means I have to get through times that I miss opportunities from it.

And, with perseverance comes determination...
Now, being a pacifist, the determination...
I might remind you of a certain character from the game called: "Undertale." Now, I'm not going to deny that I'm not... (Also, I haven't played the game... But I do love the fandom! Always have, always will. It's a beautiful story.)

....Okay, back to determination.
I'm always determined to get my goals done. I will stop at nothing to achieve it.

...I'm also very kind.
I don't get why people hate or cause hatred. It takes too much work and for nothing? Do you want to cause chaos?

...Wouldn't it be better for peace in the world? ...I know that it's a big dream, but it will happen. It has to.
Kindness has always been a trait of mine.

I will never lose it.
I will never be corrupted.
And, I can't get poisoned.