Batjokes You Complete Me

Chapter Two

Joker POV

Joker had woke up to find Bruce wasn't in bed with him. He must be taking care of the baby or something he assumed. He immediately got up and went to look for where he was.

He walked by Lucy's room, she and Bruce weren't there. He decided to check down in the batcave. So he walked down and saw them both there, Bruce was holding her as she was falling asleep with a pacifier in her mouth and he himself was watching replays of the news last night on his huge computer monitor.

Normal POV

"Who's that girl?" Joker asked referring to the reporter.

"I didn't think you'd be up yet." Bruce slid a chair over for him to sit next to him, "I know you don't watch the news often but that's Vicky Vale, another one of my exes. I said I'd be watching the news today just to make sure nothing out of the ordinary was caught from us. Also you don't have to hurt people to pretend to cause problems. I tried explaining this before after you shot Barbara."

"Go big or go home Batsy haha. Besides I only shot Barbara that one time to mess her dad, it was innocent to me." Joker smirked.

"She's stuck in a wheelchair now!"

"Who cares? She still helps you our on missions as your oracle sometimes."

"True but you gotta ease up more if we keep putting up this act."

There was silence for a few moments until Joker decided to speak again, "So how many girls exactly have you ever been with?"

"Does it really matter? You're all I care about." Bruce replied.

"It matters to me."

"Well truthfully I don't remember exactly... Some I was serious about, some were casual dating, some was just random hookups. It tends to be common to go through a lot of different women when you're a single billionaire playboy. If anything keeping it secret that I've dated you for over a year now is more suspicious to the public than anything, I get questions all the time like why are you still single and I just say I prefer it that way to get them off my case." Bruce sighed.

"You use to be a man whore?" Joker laughed, "So what was Vicky to you?"

"She was one I wanted something serious with but we mutually agreed that it wasn't going to work out between us. Even when I was younger I was very caught up in my work and protecting the city and she wanted to be more invested in her career too and our lives just didn't seem to correspond together the way we would've liked."

Joker knew Bruce had been in love before in past relationships but in the end it never worked out for him, but when it came to the Joker and the Batman they seemed to be a perfect fit which made him happy.

"And you?" Bruce sputtered out.

"What?" Joker looked puzzled.

"How many women have you been with exactly? While we're on the subject that is."

Joker thought for a moment trying his hardest to remember, "There are two women I ever remember being with."

"Only two? Well I know one was Harley Quinn but who was the other?"

"I use to be married. Before I became the Joker and was 'normal'. I may not remember much that far back I do remember her and still get flashbacks sometimes. Not full memories just bit and pieces still linger in my mind of her." Joker explained.

"What was her name? and do you remember why you two never lasted together?"

"Her name was Jeannie. All I remember was we didn't live a good life, very poor, could barely afford anything together. She was also pregnant with my daughter. I was gone one night trying to make money and the police found me and said she had gotten into an accident, neither her or our child she was carrying survived."

Everything was silent for a moment, "I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have asked..."

"Nah, it's fine, as you can see I'm much happier now." He smiled.

"No wonder you went crazy though.. It's a lot to try and handle..."

"That's not why I went crazy, well... Maybe a part of why but I don't think that was why.. I don't know it gets too fuzzy thinking back to my 'normal' days."

"So you were really going to have a daughter back then? Is that part of why you were so scared of having Lucy here?" Referring to the sleeping baby in his arms.

"Probably subconsciously yes."

"I understand." Bruce stood up and handed Lucy very carefully to Joker not to wake her up, "I have to leave kind of early to work with the Justice League, will you be okay taking care of Lucy on your own? Alfred is just out running some errands right now but as soon as he gets back he can help you if you need anything."

"God, you're making me be the little stay home mom while you run off your friends in your little gay group of losers aren't you?" Joker sighed.

"This is something I have to do, it's important I help protect people. Don't think of this as a bad thing, you get to spend more time with your daughter." Bruce got dressed in his bat suit and kissed Joker goodbye.

After he watched Batman leave he looked down at his tiny sleepy child in his arms, "Maybe this whole dad thing isn't so hard, Batsy makes it look easy." He said to himself.

Then that very second Lucy pooped in her diaper and started crying really loudly and Joker freaked out a little, "Nevermind, I have no idea what I'm doing!"