Batjokes You Complete Me

Chapter Nine

*Time Skip*

Joker POV

It's been five years now and Lucy just turned ten years old. She had grown up quite a lot becoming very intelligent and doing so well in school. Joker was becoming much better at being a father for her, mostly because he was around more than Bruce since he was always so busy.

Lucy was in 5th grade now, very excited for the year to end so she could finally be a cool middle schooler. She grew her hair out wearing it in high pigtails still as her mom did. She also started wearing blue jeans instead of dresses with cute pink t-shirts. Lucy sat in the kitchen eating some chips while doing homework one day after school. Only her and Joker were home since Bruce was out as Batman like always and Alfred took a couple days off to fly to England on vacation.

As she got older Joker liked getting closer with her, it was nice having a father/daughter bond as Bats wasn't around to keep him company. He started realizing being a dad is a lot more rewarding than he use to think and glad he has her now.

Joker walked up to sit beside her at the table, "Need any help with what you're doing?"

"You just bored because Oprah isn't on until later?" Lucy chuckled.

"A little bit. Haha" He joked, "but seriously your bird for brains older brother told me you have to make a family tree as a history assignment and I should talk to you about it myself."

"Yeah, that's true. I really need to work on that because it's due Friday. Haven't even started it yet because I don't know a whole lot about our family... The only thing I really know is my full name is Lucy Martha Wayne, I have two dads, a butler who's like my grandfather, and a brother who's way older than me." She sighed.

"Maybe it is about time I told you more, not just to finish your project for school but also because you deserve to know more about your family." Joker took a deep breath ready to explain everything.

"You're only ten years old, which is still young but you're like a preteen now so you might be discovering more about yourself and the world around you, if we had told you anything sooner we were scared of you not handling it well enough. First I should tell you about me, I am 100% your biological father and clearly Brucie is not, he is only your adoptive father. I can't tell you a whole lot about my past because it's all really fuzzy and I'm not completely sure who I use to be other than who I am now. I am classified as criminally insane and I was the number one crime boss of Gotham, I was the jester of choas. I was sent to Arkham Asylum many, many times by Brucie. He lived and still lives his life to protect Gotham, he says it's all about justice and blah blah blah. He chose that lifestyle after his parents died when he was only eight years old and the butler became his legal guardian and raised him, I on the other hand was the complete opposite, yet oddly the same as him. I know I had a tragic past even if I can't remember all of it, it only takes one bad day to lose your mind haha. He was the biggest hero and I was the biggest villain. We fought for years while developing deep seeded feelings for each other. But during the time we were archenemies, it was one of the first few times he admitted me into Arkham Asylum, there I met your mother."

"My mom!" Lucy was suddenly alert in the story.

"Yes, your mom... " Joker continued, "... She was a psychiatrist working there and she was assigned to treat my mental illnesses I guess. Her name was Harleen Quinnzel, I called her Harley Quinn for short and then that name stuck with her. It sounds bad but I manipulated her and her trust to help me escape and my crimes. She ended up falling in love with me and soon I couldn't get rid of her. I just planned on using her and leaving her but the girl was like an octopus so stuck on me. I eventually decided why not, let's try it. She wasn't going back to the asylum anyway, she had no friends or family so she was expendable if I used her during my schemes, so I dated her for about a year. I thought I don't know, maybe I liked her and could maybe love her, but I decided to break up with her once I realized I just liked using her and the only person I ever had any focus on was Brucie."

"I know he's Batman, you can call him Batsy instead of Brucie." Lucy stated.

"I know, but he has a stick up his as-butt about it... Stick up his butt is what I meant... So I'll call him Brucie for the story. So anyway years later I had finally managed to tell Brucie how I felt and found out we both wanted to be together, but you're mother basically wouldn't allow that because she felt only she could have me, nobody else even though I had ended the relationship way before. Brucie and I were happy together until she tried breaking us up. Then she announced to me I couldn't be with Brucie anymore because she was pregnant with you and at first I refused. I didn't wanna have to lose the love of my life, but Brucie ended up agreeing with her and broke up with me and kicked me out to be with her for your sake. He lost out on having both of his parents and didn't like the idea of that happening to another child I suppose. Nine months later your mother was starting to go into labor..."

"I have a quick question..." Lucy interrupted, "If you broke up with mom years before dating dad then how did she get pregnant with me?"

"How much do you know about how a mom and dad make a baby at your age?" He raised an eyebrow.

"We learned in science class that mammals like us reproduce sexually but I don't know a lot about how that happens." She replied.

"Okay well I 'sexually reproduced' the crap out of her about every week even when I was single which led her on too much but I was just a guy with 'sexually reproducing' needs. The last time with her just happened to get her pregnant with you. But continuing the story when she went into labor I couldn't get to her to a hospital in time so I had to get Brucie to come and help. He rushed her to the batcave since Alfred has just as much training as a doctor to help. Soon you were born and your mother passed away from child birth, her body just couldn't handle it. At first I didn't know what was gonna happen, so Brucie and I talked and we still wanted to be together and he offered to adopt you as your second parent."

"What about my brother you never talked about him at all?..."

"Oh yeah, Brucie adopted him around the first year I met him and he was becoming well known as Batman. The boy was like 13 when Brucie adopted him and the only reason he did was because he witnessed as the boy saw his own parents get killed in front of him and knew how hard it was from his past. So that's how he's your brother technically."

"This is a messed up family... probably going to have to censor a lot of this for my assignment..." She said with wide eyes.

"I know you might wish you had gotten to know your mom when she was alive but if it means anything here's the address to the cemetery she is buried at if you ever wanted to visit her grave one day." He hands her a piece of paper he had wrote on.

Lucy gave him a quick hug, "Thank you," She smiled staring at that small piece of notebook paper in her hands.

"Now if you excuse me, Oprah should be on tv now and I must drink a bottle of wine as I watch." He loudly stated while walking out of the kitchen.

"WHAT AN INSIGHTFUL LADY!!" Lucy could hear Joker yelling from the living room making her laugh.