Lies and Fear

Chapter 10: Truth be Told

Aqua

It was dark in the cupboard. I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face, although whether this was because tears were blurring my vision or it really was just to dark to see I couldn’t tell.

I could still hear them, in there. But I wouldn’t, couldn’t bare it. Burying my head in my knees and putting my hands over my ears I cried until I couldn’t hear them anymore.

Kian

I lay there, just lay there. Aqua, she’d seen me, like this. She was the one person, the only person, I wanted, as in really wanted, never to see me like this. When Cean was done with me he got up. Looked at me with disgusted and kicked my face.

How long did I stay there? Just like that, how he’d left me…I don’t have a clue. It was only when I herd Aqua stop crying that I realised I had to get up, had to be strong like I always had been.

Pulling my trousers back on I got up. Unable to find my shirt I just walked over to the cupboard bare chested. I knocked, there was no answer though. So I just opened it. Aqua stared up at me, eyes wide with fear, with leftover wet tracks tears had left on her face.

It broke me, to see her, the girl I loved. Yes I said it, I love her. There’s no way round it, I love her. But just to see her like that. Tears spilt down my face. I sat down next to her. Put my arm round her shoulder and drew her close to me. She put her head on my shoulder and even though I was shaking with fear she left it there. I didn’t push her off but instead pulled her closer as I cried.

When we were both done crying I stood up. Walked out of the cupboard, the room, the school. Then I ran.

The feeling was fantastic, to be free in the world. To be able to just ran across open fields up and up. Until I reached Cliff Point I didn’t stop. And once there I looked down. I stood so close to the edge, to close some might say. But as I looked down, to where I could fall, to where I could end it all, I realised what Eric must have felt just before he died.

And I realised that acutely I no longer hated him. Because I understood. I understood what it was like for him to find out the truth about what had happened to Sam and I realised how depressed he had been and how by doing the things he did it brought him some relief from reality.

Eric-I Forgive you.

With that realisation I cried.

Eric

I was half free of the chains that held me in the in-between. My hands were free now. I could touch and feel with my own spirit. But still I knew, I knew I didn’t deserve his forgiveness and yet he gave it so freely.

Forgiveness

Is but a word

Forgiving

Is but an emotion

Forgive

Is just advice

Given by those

Who want

Forgiveness

Is but a word

Forgiving

Is but an emotion

Forgive

Is just advice

Given by those

Who want

Forgiveness

And so the circle goes on

I felt through him, I knew his pain and sorrow. And I was there for him, through all of it. But that was all I could do for my little brother. I was dead while he was lucky to be alive.