Bad Reputation; Shawn Mendes

13. Sinking

"I didn't ask for this, I was made this."

•••

America.

I walked quickly to the bathroom after I managed to pass the crowds of people. I walked up the house stairs and past the people on them. I looked for the bathroom and when I found it, luckily it was empty.

I shut it and the music became muffled, I looked at myself in the mirror and seen my flaws. I seen everything she wasn't. I seen a girl who had been through hell, a girl suffering in her own mind.

A girl who's been judged for every action she's made. Some of them not even true yet nobody cared to know. I'll admit I handled everything the wrong way but I was a little kid. I was an ignorant teenage girl who didn't know any better.

How was I supposed to know I wasn't pretty enough to actually be liked by a upperclassmen. I was just someone who wanted to start over new. To accept new friends, at a new school with no ties of my past. No bullies nothing. But no it followed me to high school.

My vision became blurry and I hated it more than anything. One of the many things I learned from all of this was if people seen me cry I was weak. I was a target and I never liked crying, I cried so much when things blew up I probably cried enough to last a life time. So when I do cry I hate it, especially for dumb reasons.

Reasons like crying over Shawn. A golden boy, someone nothing like me. I allowed myself to get comfortable to think he'd actually maybe like me. But I was wrong like usual, I mean what did I honestly expect. He belongs with people like her, not me. I'd just ruin him.

I heard a knock on the door, causing me to snap out of my thoughts. I quickly wiped the few stray tears that came out.

"One minute." I told them.

I turned the sink on and washed my face a little. I took a few deep breaths making sure I contained myself. I opened the door and found him. My skin crawled with goosebumps and fear. My heart started to beat fast and I could've sworn I was dreaming.

"Miss me America?" He asked.

I couldn't even move, my fear got the best of me. I stood frozen like someone superglued my feet to the ground.

"Oh come on America say something, a hello nice to see you again Nick. How's college? Anything really." He said as he stepped closer.

I shook my head finally being able to move, "No, I'll scream." I threatened.

He frowned, "Is that any way to treat an old friend?" He asked.

I clenched my fists, "You are no friend of mine. You ruined my life, made it a living hell."

"No America, you did that all on your own. You're the one who dug your hole deeper." He said looking angry.

He stepped closer causing me to take a step back. He then shut the bathroom door behind him. I gulped feeling my anxiety kick in and fear overtake my state of mind.

"W-what are you doing?" I stuttered not being able to sound strong when in this moment I was anything but strong.

He chuckled, "A little birdie told me you'd be here. She said to wait and what almost happened freshman year would come true."