Bad Reputation; Shawn Mendes

17. Favor

"I just need a tiny little favor."

•••

America

Awkward, that's how Monday started the moment I walked into school. I mean as if I didn't get enough stares as before this weekend it was like there was a spotlight on me.

Or as if I had a sign on my forehead that said 'look at me' or like I was begging for attention. No doubt they all heard what happened at the party. I didn't want to know what they thought about me. How vulnerable I was that night and what almost happened.

I could already imagine people saying 'that's what she deserves' or 'that's what happens when you're a slut'. It doesn't matter if a girl or guy sleeps around or has been with more than one person. No one deserves to be violated or touched in such a way without consent.

It's not the same, what I've done in the past was done with me saying yes. With me wanting and allowing it, but what happened that night. I didn't want any part of it, I felt sick and disgusted. I didn't even want to be in my own skin that night. I wished it was all a big dream and that I would soon wake up and it not be real.

But I passed them all as I got to my locker. I seen it and the words 'you deserved it' was spread painted on it. I rolled my eyes at how stupid they were. I opened it up and grabbed my books, I looked at the time and realized I had a lot of time left.

Ever since yesterday with my dad changing he volunteered to drive me to school. So I ended up telling Shawn that I had a ride and would meet him at school. I turned around and walked back out of the school avoiding everyone's gaze.

I looked around and didn't see Shawn's keep anywhere. I hated this, being alone and at school early with no one familiar in sight. But it was nothing new, I had been alone since freshman year.

"Should've let it happen America." I heard Derek say.

Then him and a couple of his friends started laughing. I was about to say something but someone else did.

"Yeah and your dad should've just let your mom swallow." Laur said as she walked over towards me.

I had never been so happy to see her in the past four years. I'll admit we fixed some things the day of the party but it was still kind of awkward. I mean I hope it lessens because I do miss her and how we used to be.

"Whatever." He said back clearly not having a witty comeback.

Him and his stupid delinquent friends walked away. I looked over at her and smiled.

"Hey you never texted me after the party." She told me.

That's when I remembered I was supposed to. Just with going home with Shawn and everything that happened I forgot. Then the next day with Shawn and my dad I just never thought to text her.

"Sorry I was just distracted and forgot. I didn't do it on purpose." I explained.

She chuckled, "You're fine America, so what happened after the party? If you don't mind me asking."

I sighed not wanting to think about that night. But so far everything and everyone reminds me of it. Every whisper and look just reminds me of what happened.