Bad Reputation; Shawn Mendes

22. Hospital

"All I remember feeling was fear."

•••

America

My phone started to buzz letting me know someone was calling me. It pulled me out of my thoughts before I answered it.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Oh thank god where are you?" I heard them ask.

"At home why?" I asked.

"Somethings happened." They said.

My heart dropped.

"What happened?" I asked as I sat up and went back inside my house.

"I'll explain when I get there, are you home?" Lauren asked.

I paced my living room, "Yeah, laur you're freaking me out."

"I'll be right there." Was all she said before she ended the call.

My heart had this ache that was unexplainable. I have been through pain and loss but this? This hurt more than anything because deep down I had a feeling I already knew what happened. I refused to believe it though because my brain tends to exaggerate and think the worst.

I then heard the sound of an engine come towards my house's driveway. I hurried on out of my house making sure it was locked behind me. I seen Lauren's silver Range Rover.

I quickly ran to the passengers side and got in. Without a single word or hesitation Lauren backed out of the driveway and headed in the direction of downtown. The car was silent, no music was playing. The only thing you could hear was the engine.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong or am I just supposed to let my anxiety decide what happened?" I asked breaking the silence.

She let out a big sigh, "It's Shawn, uh he's in the hospital."

I felt a sharp pain in my heart just knowing about the possibilities. Though in a way the self conscious part of me was relieved. I mean Shawn wasn't using me or anything but knowing he was in the hospital wasn't good either.

Actually it was bad, he's literally the only guy I've possibly ever allowed myself to have feelings for. I mean I was starting to let my walls down for him. I was finally going to be myself and now I don't even know what to think.

"Can you just tell me Lauren? Please." I told her.

She pulled over to the side where she was out of the way from other cars. She turned so she was facing me, I could see the pain and sadness in her eyes.

"America...Shawn got into a bad car accident. He was rushed to the hospital and it didn't sound good." Lauren told me.

My stomach dropped and I felt like I was going to be sick. My mind started to picture what the scene could have looked like. How graphic it all was. Then my own toxic thoughts started to appear.

This was all my fault, I mean if I just ignored what everyone said. If I never let him leave the school early he would never have been in his car. None of this would have happened.

"Hello? America?" I heard her ask, when she did I was brought out of my thoughts.

I looked up at her the best I could through my blurry eyes. I couldn't focus on her or her facial features because my tears filled my eyes. My chest hurt as if it was sore, like my lungs were going to get crushed.

"Take me to the hospital please." Was all I said.

She just nodded and started to drive towards the hospital. I just stared blankly ahead of myself not even focusing on anything. I didn't want to think about anything because if I did then I would break. My whole time in high school since the rumors I refused to let myself break. I did not want to seem weak and yet here I was on the verge of breaking.

How could one person mean nothing to me and then less than a couple of weeks feel everything for them. He had so much more power over me than I led him to believe. He had my heart already and I didn't even know I gave it to him until this moment. Until the fear of losing him hit me and made me realize that I maybe loved him.

We arrived at the hospital and Lauren parked the car. We rushed out of the parking garage and into the building. We got to the front desk and Lauren did all the talking since I didn't even know what to do.

"Uh we're looking for Shawn Mendes." Lauren told the lady.

She just typed away on the keyboard, "He is on the 5th floor and room 34E but it says he's in the operating room. So you can wait in the waiting center up there."

Lauren nodded before we walked around to the elevator. I felt almost robotic like I couldn't think on my own like my mind was blank. I moved without having a destination in mind.

We finally got onto the fifth floor and went over to the waiting area. I noticed Brian, Ian, and Matt along with Shawn's family. His mother crying onto her husbands shoulder as he looked completely stressed. His sisters eyes were red and puffy showing that she had been crying already.

Seeing his family like this was my breaking point. I felt my heart shatter, I felt like I couldn't breathe. The hot tears were falling down my face, I covered my face not wanting anyone to see me. Though it was inevitable since I couldn't control my sobs.

I then felt a pair of arms around me and heard the matching sobs. I knew it was his mom when I smelled her perfume. I hugged her back, at this point I really wish I had a mom. Not exactly my mom because she obviously wasn't the best. But I really wanted a mom and she was the mom I needed right now.

Her comforting hug made my anxiety lessen. But that was short lived when we heard someone clear their throat. We pulled apart and wiped our tears away and looked to find the doctor.

"Are you the parents of Shawn?" He asked.

Karen nodded and Manny got up to be next to her. I stood back to be next to Lauren and the guys.

"What's wrong? Is he going to be okay?" Karen asked.

The doctor sighed, "Your son is fine." He told them.

Everyone sighed in relief but I could see the look on his face that there was more to it. Nothing was ever easy, especially not in my life.

"But?" I spoke up.

Everyone looked at me and then back at the doctor, "Your son is in a coma."

And there you have it.

Authors Note//
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Until Next Time Peace Lovelies✌🏼💚